Ymiden 24, Arc 718
Soon, even you will know - the crumbling of tolerance, the resignation of a beaten soul, the desire to leave and be left. Soon even you will know that the heartbreak of an individual is a highly subjective thing. The momentary ripple of doubt that the Immortals are truly on our side that tests our faith is as fickle a mistress as it is a friend. Finn failed. Or so he thought. But whilst he was damning the Immortals, he was also determined to prove himself wrong. Telar was dead and that fate hardly felt righteous. So he hit an existential crisis. One that pushed him away from society and into an arc long journey which would make him...or break him.
Over an arc ago, Finn and his mentor arrived in Ne’haer. It was to be another city where the two were to execute their duties of faith and move on. But Telar’s mysterious and solitary journey into the surrounding areas have cost him his life. Suddenly, Finn was left without a spiritual guide, Graft mentor and a companion who gained a fatherly figure to the priest. One he did not realize that he associated with Telar until it was too late. The world has broken Finn’s trust again. He felt disturbed and abandoned. But mostly, he felt empty. For the first time, there was no anger neither any other desire or feeling. Yet, it was not peace either.
He left the city not long after. Ne’haer was still recovering from the Shadow Beast attack then but it promised no solace to Finn who was feeling unsettled by his own response to Telar’s death. Finn feared that if the quiet inside him was to be suddenly disturbed by the most unexpected trigger, he’d break himself again and those around him. For protection and for search of whatever it was within him that suddenly made him feel so...devoid, he left his friends and his job and at least that felt right.
Fast forward an arc and look at Ne’haer. Now, the city is booming again with new squabbles and intricacies of the society. The streets are filled with people of any kind and race. Life was vibrant here once more. And amidst the crowd, Finn mingled with it all. He was walking down the same streets he cruised over an arc ago. Almost every corner reminded him of something - the house that collapsed and buried a person alive but with the help of little Tu’nawa they saved them; the corner where the odd Eidisi half-breed did shady dealing in the midst of their conversation; the routes he took with Rhiane when he accompanied her on her rounds around the other temples. Where those memories oppressed him an arc ago, they now passed through his mind as mere images. Memories of an era in his growth that has concluded.
He was back. This time, he was alone, following his own path. From a conversation he had with a merchant earlier, Finn has learnt a lot about the city. The original temples have been either destroyed in the attack or demolished after it to be rebuilt in the Temple of All Gods as shrines, centralizing the faith, its influence and congregation point. It was a shame as part of Finn was looking forward to visiting his old workplace. But more worrying was the rise against the faith altogether. The priest still kept the few leaflets in his pocket to analyze properly later.
However, Finn appreciated what the city has done. Although, the new location for the Eastern temple was grand, it was also disorienting for someone like Finn. Without a plea for help, however, Finn found the shrine he was looking for eventually. A soft smile settled on his lips as he approached the altar, reaching into his pocket. Finn could already guess all the stories from the coins and personal items left there. The prayers of Ne’haerians as they pleaded the Immortal to bless them with the ability to forgive whispered in his ears. He would not join them today. Instead, he would pay homage to his principal Immortal for the past Finn endured, the way it built him and the fact that now he has accepted it along with all the darkness it carried.
He paid homage to those who brought him to where he was stood now however large or small part they played in his life. In order he placed on the altar a rock for his father who was a farmer and thought him the beginnings of being a man; a needle for his mother who although distant as a parent taught him patience and value of observation; a rusted cuff from a shackle for his slave master who beat him so that Finn could rise again; a leaf from an evergreen tree for his dear friend Ti’niva who helped him find his faith whether he knew it or not; a random herb for Tei’serin who tried so hard to save his mentor; and lastly a sealed letter to his deceased mentor Telar that he would never be able to read containing words Finn hoped would reach him nonetheless wherever his spirit might have travelled.
“With that I have forgiven myself for almost all the pasts and here I lay their symbols. With these I pay you respects, Ymiden. Without you, your guidance and my faith in you, I would have gone down an entirely different path.” Finn spoke sincerely, knowing that Ymiden would hear him wherever he was. Finn nurtured his devotion and dedication to the Immortal for many decades now. So much so it rooted itself into his own set of beliefs. It was one of the reasons why he returned to Ne’haer. So that at last, he could close the circle of the arcs worth of pilgrimage to reach a point and a destination where the last leg of his journey began and now ended. Finn has completed the cycle of mourning for his past and all the could haves. He was ready to finally move forward.
