Grievous wounds [Dream]

[Hinata]

!	Message from: Peg
	Post removed. Review is appropriate for PB claimed

[Pig Boy]

Hinata

Experience: 10 no magic xp

Knowledge: none

Renown: none

Skill Usage: none

Loot/Losses: none

Injuries/Conditions: none

Consequences: none

Comments: So the issue here seems to be some misunderstanding about the opening lines of the thread. Hinata was written to have been talking to her friend the 'dream', which made it sound like it might be lucid. However, when we read down further, it's just describing a scene where Hinata bringing somebody to get healing. Anyway, onto the review.

The dream was interesting. There's a lot of charged dialogue here to add to the actual examination and treatment of his wounds, that lends itself well to drama. I'm a little lost at times for what the dream is concerning, what battle is he going to that he needs all those blades and stuff? Presenting such mysteries can be a good way of drawing us in, but it can just as easily confuse. This skirted the line between those at times, but overall I like the effort you put into it.

Enjoy the points!

If you have any concerns about this review, please PM me about them.