• Closed • [Judgement] Not Today

[Yeva]

81 Ymiden 720

Continued from here.

Fire. A flash of searing light. Yeva lifted her arms to shield herself. There was no grand last words, no final goodbye, just the gasp of realization, too sudden to scream. The end of a song. A book snapped closed. The world's end; 'This.'

This is it.

And then she opened her eyes. Her hands were lifted, her arms raised high. But past the slender fingers, splayed to protect, was nothing. No monster, no fire. In fact, the world she found herself in was awash in defining silence. Shocked, Yeva jerked back and had the strangest sensation - delayed, or sped up, it felt like time snagged behind as she moved, felt it, knew it, but the results were clicking to catch up, "What is this?" she mouthed, the sound of her voice following at a delay. Looking down, something was wrong. Her body felt strange. Her body... felt...

Nothing.

There was no rise and fall of burning lungs, no pang in her side, no stinging of sweat in her eyes. There was no weight of her hair, or the pull of resistance as her blue cloak billowed behind her. Looking down, she saw its color hanging from her frame, and yet there was no sensation of cloth against skin, "Baskara?"

Yeva turned, searching. Everyone was gone, "V-Varlum?"

A creeping panic began to slither around her soul. Where were the others? The flameborn? Her voice echoed and bounced, "Anyone?"

It seemed an endless wasteland; a globe of opaque glass where shadows danced just outside the barrier.

But there was movement.

Yeva raced towards the milky enclosure, seeing someone approach. She could not make out their face, but the silhouette struck her as familiar. Someone from the battle, "Hey!" she shouted, hands slamming against the murky wall. The figure turned away, observing something below them, "Look!" she asked desperately, but they paid her no mind, "I'm right here!" Yeva didn't understand what was going on, she could hardly see them but after an eternity of waiting, another shadow joined the first. Judging by the motion of their jaw, they were speaking but Yeva could not hear, "What..."

'What is going on?'

She strained to see beyond the bubble, pacing like a caged animal. They were so close, reconvening. Talking? She squinted and then she saw it.

A pile of black sticks... or rubble... or...

Bones.

"No...." Yeva stumbled back, "No... That's... not right." Even as she said it, the words choked her. There had been a battle. A fire. A burning. Brutal. Sudden. She searched for a way out. But every time she turned, she was back where she had been moments before. Trapped in life's waiting room, awaiting something she did not understand, "That's not me," she ran faster, trying to outrun fate. She had to get away. She had to regroup. She had to! "It can't be."

"That's not me! It's not! It's not!"

But it was.

And it didn't matter how much she resisted the idea. How much she fought it.

"I... I can't! No! There's so much I was supposed to to do! I made promises! What about the Order? I-I-I," her chest appeared to heave. The whites of her eyes were prevalent, she looked tormented as her attention darted wildly in memory, "I have to save Faldrass! I need to write Friell's story! I can't!" she was screaming now. It wasn't fair, "Please! I never got to live! I never got my first love! I never did any of it!" Yeva's strength was leaving her as she began to withdraw and shake, every ambition of her life squeezing her heart. Each one felt like a sharp knife, making her gasp. Pleading, "I can't die! I can't! I cant. I cant...." she was sobbing now, face contorting as she struggled to understand how this was happening; Why it was happening.

She was alone, rationalizing. Processing, "I can't... Please.... Please... I can't," each word was more agonizing than the last and she inhaled sharply, "My family!" She could see their faces, clear as day, "My mother, my father-" the memories, once a source of strength now felt agonizing, "This will kill them!"

Petyr, Isaac. She began to think of all her relatives. The cousins. The uncles and aunts. Every person she loved. All the friends she had made. Azrael. Balthazar. Doran. Darius... Her breathing stopped, her lip quivered. Darius Baer and his father Josef, both who had lost someone only a short time before, and whom she had promised to see again. This would devastate them!

It was an accident!

Yeva dropped to the floor, overwhelmed as the other side faded away beyond visibility. Her life cycled in memories, twenty arcs. Every decision. Every adventure. Every person that had counted on her.

How had she ruined it all so quickly?

All the questions. All the answers. All her life.

Burned away.

[Pegasus]

Judgement

Burning.

She was burning and her senses were scrambled. Yeva was in a place where she heard cold, tasted red and saw screaming. The feeling of disassociation happened more, and more and more again. There was a feeling that she was flying and falling all at once and then, reality slowly began to dawn on her.

Bones.

Bones were all that was left of her.

"What is this? Another come before us to deny what has been?"

There were two of them.

Identical. Females. Somehow, they were the same woman, but different.

In the center of their forehead, each of them, an eye.

Looking at her. Regarding her.

Judging her

"Yes. But denial is part of it for each of them. Patience is advised"

They looked at her, and they spoke together. When they did that, their voice was beautiful. Whole. Complete and melodic.

"You have died, Yeva of Rharne. Your bones are all that remain and your life is over."

A single soft voice. But there was no compassion to what they said. Nothing except statement of truth.

"A life largely without meaning, without achievement. Nothing left behind but bones and grief."

"How do you suggest this? In acknowledging that there are bones, you admit that there was life. In accepting that others will grieve, you acknowledge a life with love"

"These are things which give life meaning, true enough."

Twins turned to face her in the frozen flames of darkness. As eternity stretched before her, they looked at Yeva with Immortal eyes.

"You may speak, Yeva The Dead. Speak and tell us what worth you had in life. "

"Nothing left behind but bones and grief."

"Was more left behind than that?"

"Tell us your worth, Yeva The Dead."

OOC Note

"Pier speaking alone"

"Pre speaking alone"

"Both speaking in unison."

[Yeva]

81 Ymiden 720

Yeva the Dead.

Her lip quivered, she wanted to speak. They had permitted her to do, and yet she was scared. What was she good for?

"I don't know," she whispered, wiping away at tears that were not real. She looked at her hands as her soul ached. What had she done in her life? What was her worth? What a cruel question.

"I... I had impact," she said softly. But was that worth anything? Impact and achievement were very different things, "I cared for people." She may not have accomplished the highest rank of the Order or abolished slavery, or liberated entire nations or lead armies, but she had still affected those around her. Yeva of Rharne had been a woman of warmth and she had died in a blaze. She lived passionately! Even scared, she followed her heart. She did her best by others. Perhaps it was a weakness to some, a glaring oversight of emotion, but her curiosity and her love for those around her guided her path as surely as any map. With all their eyes, surely they could see!

"When I was a girl, I saved an Avriel," she had been cursed, hit, but she had persisted in healing his wounds. Because of her he had grown up. How many would find mercy for the winged race? "When the plague fell upon Athart, I was there... I knew no one." How isolating that had been. The language and cultural barrier piled atop an unforeseen tragedy that had left her on the streets, "I survived revolt, homelessness, slavery," Yeva had never said such things out loud. She had never considered herself special; These had all been necessary moments, but they were things she had to fight through, alone, "I've crossed seas. I cured a deaf man of scurvy, I learned the language of sign so he wouldn't have to feel alone."

There was a ferocity in her voice, grief and longing, "I tended to the sick and the pregnant - Ten languages!" Her string of thought faltered, but she recovered quickly, "Ten languages I speak to some degree. To know people, to share with them, to understand their lives," Now it was hers she was sorting through, "I completed apprenticeships, I attended university. When children were disappearing in Scalvoris, I was there, doing everything I could to bring them home! When members of the Order were being murdered, I was there!"

"I chased after justice!" she clenched her fist, "When Tio Silver stole me away to the mountain side needing help, I gave my aid! And I hate Tio Silver!"

The memory of the little godling had not been a positive one. Yeva had not taken kindly to being abandoned in the cold and without provisions. The answers he had provided had been even fewer, "I solved the riddles of the Spirit of Truth, I met the spirit Falsehood; A man was released of torment and Mountain King's reign was ended. We did that!"

She was winding down in her stories, "In Scalvoris, I won a competition. I was granted so many treasures... I... I... I could have stopped," she could have lived out her days in her estate, satisfied, "But I still went to Faldrass. I soothed tensions and old hurts. And I faced fears; I helped free him. I healed so many. So many refugees, so many dying.... I took the vows of Fire-Forged, I've shared the blood of Cassion,"

None of it had she done for personal gain. In the depth of her trauma, she had always done what she felt was right. If that meant nothing in her judgement, then so be it, "And... When Rharne began to burn, I went home to help them. I.... I know I'm not a fighter. I know I'm not the most remarkable woman," she cracked again, face scrunching in tragedy, "But I never let it stop me."

The next words were unspoken.

Until now.

Yeva tried to stop the pain she felt from overwhelming her. No one ever said that you could feel like you were dying once you were already dead. Her worth had lived in the lives of others. There so much left to do!

"It's just..." her voice faded into silence.

Not fair.

[Pegasus]

Equality

They listened to her as she spoke, haltingly at first and then more and more confidently. She listed her actions, her achievements, her life

And they listened. There was no doubt that they listened and did so attentively. Then, however, when she had finished, they spoke. They seemed more separate now, debating and discussing their thoughts. As Yeva had spoken, they had moved, further away from each other, their physical distance seeming to emphasise their separation. They began to walk around her as she spoke, circling her.

"How is she different than any other soul?"

"Each soul is different than every other. We know this"

"Will her parents mourn more than any others? Will her friends miss her more? She is but one grain of sand."

"The least and the greatest among them is no more than that, sister."

"She defines her worth by languages and competitions won. She is prideful."

"Pride in an achievement is a natural response. Her motivations are good"

Around her they walked, circling wolves. Looking at her. Their eyes glowed with life, with the enormity of what they were. Again, they spoke together.

"Yeva the Dead, we judge you, as we judge them all."

The voice was more brisk, more business like. The Immortals who moved around her now wore the forms of women but there was nothing mortal about them.

"A brief life where you tried your best."

"And did more than many would. A life lived with good intentions"

"You have died. You will be mourned. Some will mourn you for a lifetimes. Others will forget. It is always the way."

And, it seemed, that was their judgement of her.

"Vri will take you now. The Immortal of Death will lead you. "

The world shifted, changed and the mists cleared. The twins were no longer there, it seemed, but there was a tall man, pale of skin and with long black hair. His gaze on her was compassionate.

"Don't be afraid, Yeva." Vri said and he held out his hand to her. His eyes were kind but they emanated emotion. Just being in his presence sent wave after wave of emotion over her. "It's time to rest now"




OOC Note

"Pier speaking alone"

"Pre speaking alone"

"Both speaking in unison."

"Vri speaking"

[Yeva]

81 Ymiden 720

It was a simple judgement in many ways, although to Yeva it felt like the simplicity was unfair. There was nuance! Substance! And they brushed her aside like any other case, telling her what she knew and what she didn't want to hear. Nothing changed, nothing mattered.

It was all wrong.

She buried her face in her hands. All the good intentions in the world wouldn't save her now.

"Don't be afraid, Yeva."

"I'm not afraid!" she lifted her crying face, at the man who reached out to her with white hands. Vri was with her now. The world had shifted; it was clearer now and she wished for the words to be true, but it sounded more of a child resisting a parent when it was time to lay down, resisting the inevitable slumber. I won't! I won't! But it wasn't the after that she was truly worried about. It was the life she left behind. There was a war coming. Couldn't he see what that could do? His gaze was soft, gentle, and sent so much emotion through her, she thought she might die all over again, "I... I...." her voice kept catching, her lip quivered. She searched for something to say, anything that might change his mind, but knew her time was up.

"It's time to rest now"

She sniffled. Yeva took his hand and then pressed her cheek against it and closed her eyes. She thought to beg him but all she felt was grief in all its sweetness, "I love them so much, can't you feel it?" There was a desperation in her grip, a need to be understood. But were Immortals even capable of such things? All the memories of her life, of her childhood, of her adolescence and all the time after, all the people she had met were in her touch. All those she had laughed with, protected, forgave. She had lived life never knowing a stranger, welcoming them all with such warmth. Now she was supposed to walk away without a fight? No! She was Yeva of Rharne! "I won't leave them," she said at last. A hidden strength inside her ignited, lashes fluttering as all the sentiment sharpened like a blade. His presence fueled her and when she looked back to his face, Yeva's eyes burned with fire that consumed her, "It's not time. Not today."

She pushed his hand away, not angrily, but as as a woman who had made her choice. There was so much to do. A vow she wasn't ready to break, "I just know it... In my soul," she turned away from the Immortal, tapping her chest and looking into the strange distance. She had faced challenges in life. She could face them in death, "I don't want to rest. I want to stay."

I want to keep trying.

Those who had known Yeva in life might have lost her, but she wouldn't lose them.

Not yet. Not today.

[Pegasus]

Justice

The twins watched her, regarded her.
Yeva turned her attention to Vri, and still they watched. Observing.
Questioning.
knowing
They were there, throughout the conversation. Looking into her soul and seeing the truth of her.
Laid bare.

And as Yeva answered Vri, it was the twins who spoke. But not to her, to Vri.

Maybe to each other?

Not to her.

They had judged her.

"She is afraid, she lies."

"It is her fear which gives her strength. We have seen it many times, sister."

"She speaks of Riddles of Truth, but cries out falsehoods"

"Or she says it to make it not true. To hear her own voice in a place of darkness and fear?"

"She is prideful."

"So are we. How will you judge us?"

That stopped the conversation between them. Vri told her it was time to rest and Yeva spoke again to him. When she took his hand and pressed it against her cheek, he smiled at her. He listened to her, but then, when she had made her plea, he spoke once more. "I feel your love for them, Yeva, yes." Vri said. His eyes swirled a million shades of black as his eyes observed her. "It is not remarkable love. It is, simply, love." In his eyes flashed scenes of great love, great sacrifice, memories from aeons of time and every kind of love imaginable.

"Yet every love is remarkable," His voice was kind and gentle and he was obviously trying to explain things to her. "If you choose to stay, Yeva, you will be doomed to walk among them, but not be of them." It was a horrible, truly horrible existence. "You will descend into madness becoming more and more empty until you forget who you were, or what you did," His gaze was serious. "At best, you will have a half-life, neither alive nor dead." He shook his head.

"I can not force you, I will not," he sounded sorrowful - which was par for the course, of course. "But of us all, as the Immortal of Sorrow, I tell you truthfully," Vri's eyes gazed intently on her. "Famula deals with those who have suffered the greatest pain. I would not wish you to fall into her remit." One pale hand gestured and Yeva felt a strong ...pull towards wherever it was he was suggesting.

"Do not doom yourself to this, Yeva of Rharne," the Immortal's voice hung with the heavy weight of the moment. "I beseech you."



OOC Note

"Pier speaking alone"

"Pre speaking alone"

"Both speaking in unison."

"Vri speaking"

[Yeva]

81 Ymiden 720

Pier and Pre's back and forth caused Yeva to stiffen. Even now, her actions were judged? She frowned, pulling her attention back to see the depth of Vri's gaze. How endless it was.

Dark and deep and lovely.

And her love was unremarkable as every love was remarkable.

It was enough to make her head spin, "I... I do not understand," she muttered, her determination flickering like a burning match that had been blown upon. Wavering, she wished to bloom and disperse, like a cloud of smoke that could simply float far away, "Is that not what Immortals do? You walk among us, but you are not us," she inquired, serious as the grave, "If it serves your purpose, couldn't it serve mine as well? This doesn't have to be the end."

What did it matter if she went mad?

Her life was over.

She had nothing else to lose.

Except

Herself?

"Surely there are others who have survived this, who have returned? Miracles happen every trial!" she hoped aloud, tears again running down her cheeks as she eyed the twins, "Is it so prideful to hope I could be one of them? It can't be over, there's still so much-" her throat continued to catch, an imaginary hand choking the sobs that wracked her body.

Everything hurt.

I won't forget.

I wont.

I wont!

Vri's words were earnest. He believed she would suffer if she chose this path and she listened.

I beseech you.

Yeva exhaled, scrubbing at her eyes. Tears that were memories, unnecessary things.

"I would have liked to have known you in life, I think," she whispered bitterly, depleting as she felt that pull. Couldn't he see, she was doomed the moment that monster had emerged? "I think it's best if you... if you go now. I have made my choice."

[Pegasus]

Your Review

Yeva

Overview

First, and most importantly, I'm so sorry for the delays to this review.

The way that you write Yeva here is just amazing. The emotional journey within these posts is so evident, and you portray the confusion and anger and the roller-coaster experience beautifully. She is a beautifully written PC who truly has been on an amazing journey. Thank you for this thread, it was a pleasure to write with you. Enjoy your rewards!

Points

XP: 15
Renown: None from this - no one saw it.

Loot

Yeva refuses to go forward with Vri and is, at that moment, condemned to walk Idalos as a ghost. This is dealt with in the PSF, but I'm putting it here as "Loot" so that you have a link back IC.

Knowledge

Discipline x 5
Negotiation x 5

If you have any questions or concerns regarding this review - drop me a PM.