"I reckon," she replied with a slight smile, "if you wanted practical an' safe, you made a real poor choice, Arlo." She was arguably neither of those things, after all. Still, that was close to them, to the kind of banter which defined them and her smile was tinged with emotion. Of course, though, she said no more on it. He thought she had the best of both sides? She didn't know, in truth, she had no idea what her mother was like, but he knew that and there was no point speaking about it. She knew what she had from the journals which she had read and read again. And that was more than he knew about his father, she thought. So, she might want to try to be a little bit sensitive to him. Maybe, just for show.
When he moved closer and bumped his shoulder against hers, though, her eyes flashed colours and she grinned. "An' if I was a sane or reasonable person, it'd make sense an' be a good thing to do." She stood by it, though, he wouldn't have liked a story about Soulful Eyes Cheese-Name. It was as simple and as complicated as that. She glanced at him and smiled. Did he realise, she wondered and then she knew the answer. Of course he didn't. "I don't like 'er cos she called me a whore in front of you, too. An' cos I thought she was after you an' I didn't like that, either." Vega shrugged slightly. There was a slight lifting of her lips into a smile as she said that, her expression rather wry.
She paced, he stood and he wrapped his arms around her. Vega stopped moving, just held on to him for a moment and her hug was fierce. He said something, then, that was similar to something he'd said to her not long after they'd first met. She had to believe it herself, or it wouldn't matter who said what. Was that right? She wasn't sure to be honest ~ it seemed a touch simplistic to her. Those choices her parents had made had been to leave behind families for the sake of love. But her parents had both grown up being what they were; biqaj and sev'ryn and accepted for being those, completely those. That wasn't her experience at all."Yer right, I know you are. But in my 'ead, it feels more complex." Vega sighed slightly and ran her hand through her hair as the last vestiges of the fury she had felt left her. It was more complex, she supposed, and it was also simple. More complex because it was family, because even decisions which were justified and appropriate still had repercussions, and simple because there simply was no choice for her.
But then, he told her he loved her and asked her a question. Vega lifted her head and looked at him, her expression confused and conflicted as colours swirled in her eyes. "Don't you know, Arlo Creede?" Her voice was just above a whisper. "Really?" She shook her head, then tugged him over so that they were sitting side by side.
"I didn't tell you I love you. I told you I fell in love with you," her gaze locked on him as she spoke. They were two very different things, she told him. It wasn't a matter of semantics, it was a matter of heart. "You love your pet goldfish. Or your hat. Or your uncle Flibbert who 'as no teeth." She grinned at that image, but her point was serious and her face reverted to that expression. "Bein' in love is fierce and it's scary an' it's all of me, Arlo." She didn't know whether he even began to understand, whether she was just doing this differently than he was, than everyone else did, probably that was the case, she figured. "So, when that fight with Reese 'appened, you were the only person I wanted to speak to about it, an I needed you. I don't like needin' anyone, so I got irritated. An' then you weren't 'ere an' I missed you, so I got more irritated." Independent, able to deal with her own things and not requiring or wanting other people was so much part of who she was. That, of course, led to fear. Would he come home? What if he didn't? "An' then you got back, an' you got focused on stuff that wasn't important, to my mind, an' ignored what was and so all that irritation turned into bloody furious. But I didn't stop needin' you." She didn't like to admit that, certainly didn't want to but Vega at least had the sense to realise that he had to know. "Before, I could jus' worry about you an' pound on you if you got 'urt, but I've never been so angry just like I've never been so bloody vulnerable or needy to anyone, Arlo." She glared at him, defiance etched on her face.
"I need you. An' I feel it all like a 'undred times more than I used to. You make me feel more everythin' than before. Angry, happy, content. When we're like this, I can do anythin', but when somethin' you do or don't do 'urts me, I just lash out cos it 'urts too much to just take. I can't just take it." It annoyed the life out of her, but then she considered that maybe it scared the life out of him. With a grin she realised something and shrugged. "Prob'ly sounds mad to you an' you wanna run. But love isn't what this is for me. Love's pretty an' sweet an' all that other crap I can't do. This is fire and passion an' painful because I'm so damn vulnerable to you an' I hate it. But I am, cos I need you." She shrugged and glanced at him. "I jus' feel everythin' ten times more with you. It's irritatin', an' I don't want you gettin' ideas above yer station, either." Bumping against him she smiled, almost apologetically. "We agreed, I'm in charge. Don't go forgettin'"
When he moved closer and bumped his shoulder against hers, though, her eyes flashed colours and she grinned. "An' if I was a sane or reasonable person, it'd make sense an' be a good thing to do." She stood by it, though, he wouldn't have liked a story about Soulful Eyes Cheese-Name. It was as simple and as complicated as that. She glanced at him and smiled. Did he realise, she wondered and then she knew the answer. Of course he didn't. "I don't like 'er cos she called me a whore in front of you, too. An' cos I thought she was after you an' I didn't like that, either." Vega shrugged slightly. There was a slight lifting of her lips into a smile as she said that, her expression rather wry.
She paced, he stood and he wrapped his arms around her. Vega stopped moving, just held on to him for a moment and her hug was fierce. He said something, then, that was similar to something he'd said to her not long after they'd first met. She had to believe it herself, or it wouldn't matter who said what. Was that right? She wasn't sure to be honest ~ it seemed a touch simplistic to her. Those choices her parents had made had been to leave behind families for the sake of love. But her parents had both grown up being what they were; biqaj and sev'ryn and accepted for being those, completely those. That wasn't her experience at all."Yer right, I know you are. But in my 'ead, it feels more complex." Vega sighed slightly and ran her hand through her hair as the last vestiges of the fury she had felt left her. It was more complex, she supposed, and it was also simple. More complex because it was family, because even decisions which were justified and appropriate still had repercussions, and simple because there simply was no choice for her.
But then, he told her he loved her and asked her a question. Vega lifted her head and looked at him, her expression confused and conflicted as colours swirled in her eyes. "Don't you know, Arlo Creede?" Her voice was just above a whisper. "Really?" She shook her head, then tugged him over so that they were sitting side by side.
"I didn't tell you I love you. I told you I fell in love with you," her gaze locked on him as she spoke. They were two very different things, she told him. It wasn't a matter of semantics, it was a matter of heart. "You love your pet goldfish. Or your hat. Or your uncle Flibbert who 'as no teeth." She grinned at that image, but her point was serious and her face reverted to that expression. "Bein' in love is fierce and it's scary an' it's all of me, Arlo." She didn't know whether he even began to understand, whether she was just doing this differently than he was, than everyone else did, probably that was the case, she figured. "So, when that fight with Reese 'appened, you were the only person I wanted to speak to about it, an I needed you. I don't like needin' anyone, so I got irritated. An' then you weren't 'ere an' I missed you, so I got more irritated." Independent, able to deal with her own things and not requiring or wanting other people was so much part of who she was. That, of course, led to fear. Would he come home? What if he didn't? "An' then you got back, an' you got focused on stuff that wasn't important, to my mind, an' ignored what was and so all that irritation turned into bloody furious. But I didn't stop needin' you." She didn't like to admit that, certainly didn't want to but Vega at least had the sense to realise that he had to know. "Before, I could jus' worry about you an' pound on you if you got 'urt, but I've never been so angry just like I've never been so bloody vulnerable or needy to anyone, Arlo." She glared at him, defiance etched on her face.
"I need you. An' I feel it all like a 'undred times more than I used to. You make me feel more everythin' than before. Angry, happy, content. When we're like this, I can do anythin', but when somethin' you do or don't do 'urts me, I just lash out cos it 'urts too much to just take. I can't just take it." It annoyed the life out of her, but then she considered that maybe it scared the life out of him. With a grin she realised something and shrugged. "Prob'ly sounds mad to you an' you wanna run. But love isn't what this is for me. Love's pretty an' sweet an' all that other crap I can't do. This is fire and passion an' painful because I'm so damn vulnerable to you an' I hate it. But I am, cos I need you." She shrugged and glanced at him. "I jus' feel everythin' ten times more with you. It's irritatin', an' I don't want you gettin' ideas above yer station, either." Bumping against him she smiled, almost apologetically. "We agreed, I'm in charge. Don't go forgettin'"
