• Graded • How many trials have passed like this?

[Juniper]

Juniper
91st of Zi'da, of the 717th Arc

"How many trials have passed like this?"

[/b]

This was only one of the questions on Juniper's mind. She sobbed as she lay there, in pain, and exhausted. In the cold season everything felt like it was going in slow motion. She lay there, sobbing. She felt gross, pain throbbed everywhere throughout her body. Covered in her own sap, not having eaten or drank anything for trials. She felt like she was falling apart.

Well, more than she already had. Seeing as she was missing part of her left foot and her entire left arm. With the cold, salty air, the sap was having a hard time coalescing. On top of it all she kept on fading in and out of consciousness. Cold seasons were hard for injuries, and it was about to get even colder.

Something, seeped inside Juniper, the more she lie there, helpless, unable to escape from this box of a prison, lying in her own waste and sap. It seeped so deep inside her that it shook her. Even in the darkness she saw white and her breath began to quicken as she felt the need to scream well up inside of herself.

Slamming her fist into the drawer wall she tried to keep herself together. It wasn't enough though. Again and again she slammed her tiny fist on that drawer wall. Tears welled up in her eyes as she kept hitting that wall. Her hand and arm hurt, but it was nothing compared to the loss of her other arm. She sobbed louder now, trying so hard to hold back. She didn't know if that Captain wench was here or not. If she was, then it might cause her more problems.

Whatever it was that she was trying to stop though, she couldn't hold back anymore. Tears streaming down her face as she screamed out. Screamed as loud as she could. It wasn't a scream of pain. No, those who knew the difference would know what it was. It was a scream of rage, of disgust with oneself. She screamed, over and over again, for as long as her breath would allow her. Kicking with her good leg, slamming her good arm against the wall.

Sobbing and screaming, making a racket, she didn't care, not anymore. She was mad, angry, upset, and all of the other feelings that came along with it. These feelings, too big to contain. She wanted to hurt them, hurt them they way they hurt her. A thing that she literally couldn't do in her current state. After all, to them, she was just a broken tree branch, or maybe just a twig. Nothing in their eyes. That, made everything they'd done to her all the worse.

[Juniper]

Juniper
91st of Zi'da, of the 717th Arc

"How many trials have passed like this?"

[/b]

Her mind played over the question continuously, the tone of it in her mind getting more and more venomous with each time it passed. Each time accented with a kick or a slam of her fist. No words have left her mouth this entire time. Just unintelligible screams. She didn't understand. There was so much that she didn't understand. The world was much more cruel a place than she'd let herself believe.

Her parent's had warned and warned her, and other beings had too! She just thought she was bigger... or even smaller than all of it. That she could easily escape harm's way. Proved wrong, that's what had happened. She got proved wrong in the worst way possible after dying. She got tortured, laughed at, reminded just how little she mattered to the world around her.

How long had it been since she'd felt like herself? How long had it been since she felt strong and independent? Now, all she wanted was for some stranger to swoop in and save her. Like some human damsel in feking distress.

Though, most that would be looking at her from the outside would agree with that point. She was missing an entire limb, and part of another. It wasn't like she could easily get anywhere either. She was locked up in this unchanging moonless, starless night of a box.

Curling up now, shaking with her rage and her tears, she just felt like she wanted to disappear. She wanted it all to go away, she wanted to remain how she'd been before. Ignorant to the cruelty of the world. That was when she heard it. That familiar noise, she blinked a few times and had to collect herself for a moment before she realized what that noise was, as it was muffled by the desk.

Bone. Her darling, darling companion, and baby. She was still alive. That's right, that's why she still struggled, even now. For Bone, the only creature in the world that seemed to actually care about her. Other than her parents of course. Wiping at her eyes she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Listening to her bird, who was quieting down now because she was quieting down. Bone was smart. She knew where Juniper was. Juniper didn't have to question that. Bone had found her many times before this, and Bone had seen where she'd been thrown into.

Bone had been a good bird throughout the whole ordeal where Juniper lost her arm. Not making a single peep. Now that Juniper was making a lot of noise though, she figured that Bone was worried enough to vocalize even with the risk of being punished later. This tore her soul in two. She wanted so bad to get out of this wretched box so that she could hug her baby, so that she could let Bone know that though she was in pain she was alright.

She wanted to let Bone know that they would continue on in their adventures once she'd healed. Once..she healed? But who knew how long that would take? It was going to be Cylus soon.. when her limbs grew back the slowest. Even when it did grow back, was she going to ever get out of this box, out of this ship. She didn't know, and to be completely honest with herself, she had to admit that that scared her more than anything else. That she was going to remain here until she shriveled up in her waste and sap.

Tears welled up in her eyes again at this thought. She was all alone. Bone couldn't help her, she didn't have a companion that she had been traveling with. No one knew that she hadn't made it to where she was going because she hadn't really had a destination in mind. At this moment. She really was just a broken twig, throw away in some desk drawer, on a ship to be forgotten.

[Juniper]

Juniper
91st of Zi'da, of the 717th Arc

"How many trials have passed like this?"

[/b]

The answer to that question was, in all honesty, not important. She didn't really care anymore. If she got chance to escape, she would take it. That was if, and only if, she got that chance.

She knew she'd know when the chance arose. It wasn't going to be easy, but right now that was the only thing she could really hope for. An escape.

The Tunawa felt so small as she sat there. Disgusted with herself, would this had happened if she'd gone through the proper channels? Probably would have to be honest, or something like it. In fact, if she were a known passenger, she had a feeling that things would have just gotten worse faster for her and Bone.

Her arm would grow back, her foot would grow back, she knew this... It would take some time just because of the bad timing of it all, but she would definitely start to regenerate.

Her hand moved to her head, she still could think, she still could breath, she was still alive, she was still here. Yes she was in pain, yes things weren't good right now, but that was part of life wasn't it? What had she been thinking? Wanting to die? That was obsurd and stupid. And she knew it.

She wasn't ready to die, she knew that for sure, so she wasn't going to go looking for the fire yet. There was no reason for her to want to die. Disappearing wasn't going to fix things for her. She was fine, she was strong, at least, she had to keep telling herself that. She would be able to get herself out of this at some point.

But she also could feel that she was now missing a fire. Her fire for adventure, it was pretty much gone. No matter how much she told herself it wasn't. She wanted to quit before she'd even really started. But loosing your dreams was part of growing up, at least that was what she thought. Maybe it was okay to feel this way.

She might settle down a lot sooner than she thought she would. She wasn't sure yet. She took a slow and deep breath. She'd have plenty of time to think about it. If she survived this ship that is. She closed her eyes once more and took a slow deep breath and decided that resting was probably going to be for the best.

She'd need rest for whatever happened next.

[Pegasus]

Juniper

Points! 10 (may not be used for Domain Magic)

Knowledge:
Meditation: Pushing back the negative (even if you fail)
Meditation: Repetitive actions (like punching) To try and calm down
Unarmed Combat: Brawling: The fist
Unarmed Combat: Brawling: Punching more than once
Torture: Being forced to sit in your own refuse.. yeah.. that's a thing
Torture: Going without food or water

Loot: None
Injuries/Overstepping: Nope, just a sore hand
Renown: None

Comment
Oh poor Juniper! I felt so sorry for this little tunawa and you write this really well. Her sense of frustration and hopelessness was really well done. I love the pc attitude though - doing the very best to push away that negativity. Awwww. I hope it all turned out alright in the end and I loved those little snippets of positivity, determination etc from her! Great writing! Enjoy your rewards and PM me if I've missed anything!