Vega
Overview
I love the way the reader is allowed to understand Vega's viewpoint of everything. The reason why...is because you go to great pains in writing it so that the reader can feel invested in what she's thinking and saying. Vega is a wonderfully written character that uniquely sees the world through her experiences so when the two approach her, it takes her a minute to figure out what the situation is, but once she does, it's full steam ahead! She sorts it according to how Vega would handle it, not what is expected of her. Having GST'd the 'Trial' thread that follows, I gained unique insight into how Vega processes things and it was a wonderful journey. I'm honored that Squirrel asked me to review this thread as well. Enjoy your rewards - they are very much deserved!
- Avalon
Points
XP:15
Renown: 15
Renown: 15
Loot
None
Knowledge
Caregiving - Reassuring others of a positive outcome
Combat - Brawling - A nose shot will put someone on the ground
Detection - Sizing someone up by their physical appearance
Detection - Noting rank by uniform
Discipline - Discipline can be ignored when wanted
Discipline - Not yelling when been yelled at
Leadership - Making your expectations crystal clear
Persuasion - Explaining the reasons behind your argument
Persuasion - Having conviction behind your words is helpful
Persuasion - Noting flaws in others' arguments
Teaching - Training should be approached no different than fighting
Teaching - Approaching deadlines means pushing harder
Seira
Overview
Seira (and by extension Seri) are uniquely written in this piece as the item that begins the chain of events that will lead to the Trial. Seria is doing what she's told and is confronted by something she never expected. Her reactions are well-written and appropriate to the situation. You conveyed her sense of confusion well and how she gained understanding by watching events unfold. She sees things in a very measured way and you expressed that wonderfully through your choice of words and the way she speaks. Enjoy your rewards - muchly deserved!
- Avalon
Points
XP:15
Renown: 5
Renown: 5
Loot
None
Knowledge
Detection - Noticing when someone is upset
Detection - Assessing a situation
Detection - Finding someone based on a description
Discipline - Obeying orders
Discipline - Learning patience
Discipline- Not running when your instincts tell you to
Discipline - Telling the truth even when its detrimental to your cause
Etiquette - Using correct titles when addressing people
Etiquette - Sometimes you have to over-explain to make things clear
Etiquette - Saluting to a superior officer
Etiquette - Proper introduction are important
Etiquette - Expressing your understanding by indicating such
Detection - Assessing a situation
Detection - Finding someone based on a description
Discipline - Obeying orders
Discipline - Learning patience
Discipline- Not running when your instincts tell you to
Discipline - Telling the truth even when its detrimental to your cause
Etiquette - Using correct titles when addressing people
Etiquette - Sometimes you have to over-explain to make things clear
Etiquette - Saluting to a superior officer
Etiquette - Proper introduction are important
Etiquette - Expressing your understanding by indicating such
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