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Do we whisper, or do we shout?

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2016 3:02 pm
by Elyna
Image
The names fell with finality and were committed to paper. Paper could be burnt or even ripped up, but there was something certain in the way that he wrote, as though the names she had carelessly discarded were being carved into stone. His quill was a chisel, and the paper their graves. Fists clenched she held them tight behind her back. Elyna waited for the scratch of the feather to cease, gaze fixed on the scrawl before she reached out, wordless and accepted the quill in her left hand. Her signature was added in silence at the bottom of the page and the pen set aside.
She had done as she was ordered by the Knight. The Skyrider would rise her life and that of her unborn child to see her debts to the Kingdom clear. She tried to search the tall-man’s expression but he seemed intent on turning away. She wondered if the weight of war fell as heavily on his shoulders as she currently felt it. A lead weight around her ankles or hanging from her neck. Yet they would both carry out their duty. They would fulfil their responsibilities to the Crown and the Iron Hand. Elyna found that she didn’t dislike the man before her, he was crude but he was a tool of the system and it was a system she knew.
The Skyrider turned as she was dismissed and made her way across the floorboard, only to be halted by the final order. She looked back over her shoulder, scanned the mess of debris before rolling a shoulder in a shrug, “do it yourself.”
Without a second glance she left. There were plans to make and bags to pack. Someone would have to look after the animals, someone would have to look after the house.

Do we whisper, or do we shout?

Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2016 7:29 pm
by Pegasus
Image
Elyna


Points!:

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/ 5
Structure: 5/ 5
Knowledge:

Detection: Sometimes, the room is just empty - but it's always important to check.
Discipline: Remain quiet in the face of a rant
Discipline: Stick to your morals and you will not fail
Peake: King's Guard
Peake: Got grey and fat.
Peake: Got quite a temper
Peake: Thinks you're toxic
Peake: Believes that you're being targeted by the King
Peake: Threatened those you love for your loyalty
Peake: Says the Queen and Lord Commander were plotting against the King
Peake: Thinks he's a role model for the king.
Peake: Thinks there's a price for peace.
Peake: Can't get an erection but it's worth it.
Peake: Will kill the King if that's what it takes.
Peake: Believes you have no choice
Peake: Believes he has no choice either
Peake: Less scary the longer you know him.


Loot:
NA
Fame:
+2 (good deed)
Magic:
These points may NOT be used for arcana
Peake


Points!:

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/ 5
Structure: 5/ 5
Knowledge:

Intimidation: Shouting, swearing and breaking things in order to intimidate others.
Intimidation: Change emotions often, it confuses and disorients your victim
Intimidation: Go in hard, then appeal to their better nature.
Mathematics: Calculating interest
Politics: Names have power, but also lead to war
Tactics: Battles are won in the shadows
Safe and risky investments.
Elyna: Quiet in the face of your wrath
Elyna: Calm
Elyna: Knows nothing about the rebellion
Elyna: Serves the Kingdom. This is the truth.
Elyna: Not prepared to sign a blank piece of paper
You: Are the greater good.
You: Are a role model for the King
You: Not able to get an erection, but it's worth it
You: Would kill the King if it needed doing.
You: Have given everything, and would give everything else.
You: Have no choice
War: Much harder on the leaders, who have to sacrifice their people.

Loot:
NA
Fame:
NA
Magic:
These points may NOT be used for arcana

Overview:

General comments. What a fun thread to review! I loved it and I really enjoyed reading the inner dialogue of both pcs. You both remain consistent to your characters, which was awesome to see. Great fun, thanks!
Story All good - really enjoyed it!
Structure No major issues.

Please do PM me if you think I've missed anything or you have any questions!