• Mature • Flight

The capital city of the of Rynmere, here is seated the only King in Idalos.
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Elyna
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Posts: 1190
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:31 pm
Race: Mortal Born
Profession: Official Troublemaker
Renown: 231
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Flight

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Lying side by side like this she remained mesmerised by the small movements he made. Despite the many intimate breaks they’d shared together, she was committed to securing the details that made him to memory. The freckle on the back of his arm, the softer skin of his neck after shaving. Corded muscles beneath the skin and eyes that held the depths of the ocean. She’d heard other people discussing Captain Krome and always anticipated that he would be a private man, thoughtful and guarded in his assessments. Crew members had lamented, after too much to drink, that he was a hard man to know well. Elyna wondered if they simply weren’t watching the subtle cues of his expression because his responses screamed at her, and they always had.

The Skyrider shook her head, he hadn’t told her. The words that followed threatened to steal any coherent thought. The night was there’s once more. Moments stolen back from the world, unexpected, joyful and pure. She remembered in vivid colour, sound and emotion the first time she’d met Malcolm. He’d been so damn alive, that she’d made the mistake of thinking he was Marcus. Determined to end the farce of her courting Vaugh she’d wanted to have her say and leave. She had pulled in against her better judgement…and then…Elyna reached out and ran careful fingers down his arm, closing her palm around the muscle. Vanessa had returned and he’d slipped into his role of dutiful, attentive husband and the world had been a little less bright.

There was little she could say in response that wouldn’t sound paltry or false. So she lent forward and kissed him instead. With actions she gave the response that words would only tarnish. The kiss burnt slow at first, but as it heated in urgency she withdrew, bending instead to press careful lips to the tissue surrounding his scar.

“You’re my hero Mal,” she murmured against warm skin, “you saved me and I will be yours till the stars stop shining.”
word count: 351
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Rumour
Prophet of Old
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Joined: Wed May 11, 2016 3:47 am
Race: Naerikk
Renown: 0
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Name: Elyna

Knowledge:
Basic Knowledge:
Baby Names: Boys could be named Vincent, Jude, or Simon

Specialized Knowledge:
Stealth: Stocking feet are quieter than shoes on wooden floorboards
Stealth: Be cautious of creaking doors
Medicine: An untreated cut can become infected
Baby Names: Boys named Vincent are usually pirates, thieves, or unreliable
Malcolm: Kissed you in Krome because he believed your paths crossed for a reason

Loot: N/A
Injuries: Congratulations! You've received:
  • A bruise on your right shoulder that will take 10-14 trials to fully heal
  • A cut on your back, running from shoulder to hip, which will take between 20-25 trials to fully heal without scarring
Fame: N/A

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 5/5
- - -
Name: Malcolm

Knowledge:
Basic Knowledge:
Baby Names: Boys could be named Vincent, Jude, or Simon
Elyna: You’re her hero

Specialized Knowledge:
Housekeeping: How to start a fire in an indoor fireplace
Baby Names: Boys named Vincent are usually pirates, thieves, or unreliable
Pregnancy: Babies can deprive a woman’s body of key nutrients

Loot: N/A
Injuries: N/A
Fame: N/A

Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 5/5
- - -
Comments: Another lovely thread, you two! I always enjoy seeing the "behind-the-scenes" of Elyna & Malcolm's relationship. I like that we were provided with some background of what the two had been up to earlier in the day, and I also appreciate the continuity from the thread with Malcolm's will. Those little details make moments like this one feel more realistic.

Elyna, if I could offer one suggestion, I would encourage you to be cautious of sentence fragments. A sentence fragment is a phrase missing a subject, a verb, and/or a complete thought. These are some examples I found: “Feeling like a fool until he gestured to the tub of heated water.” & “Desperate to avoid waking up her sleeping husband.” & “Replaying the moments in her mind.” A quick fix might be, “She felt like a fool until he gestured to the tub of heated water” or “She was desperate to avoid waking up her sleeping husband.”

Looking forward to your next one!
word count: 360
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