Hold your horses.
This thread had a nice story. There's a good sense of tension during the action, there's a lot of emotion and nuance to the way your characters act and explain their motivations. Unfortunately, this thread completely stumped four peer reviewers when read.
From a narrative perspective, because of the constant swaps in control and action over the NPCs, the repeated skips in time to hours ahead and the 'present time', and use of prose and both internal and external monologue, I'm going to be blunt and say this thread was almost completely unreadable to a layman with no understanding of either of your characters or the narrative you were trying to convey. While experimentation is encouraged in storytelling, there is a basic expectation of consideration and awareness of peer reviewers and the need to read through what you write and understand the events that happen in it. I'm sorry to say that this didn't happen here - in all honesty, it reads as though there are two solos being written at different times, occasionally connecting with both characters performing conflicting narrative when it does meet. Moving into future threads, I would like to offer this advice to stop this happening again:
Oberan, please stop repeatedly skipping time (once isn't ideal, but you do it for 3 of your 5 posts). Following the actions of your character for half the thread when they had no involvement in the story from Natalia's perspective made this very difficult to read and confuses the beginning and middle of the thread from a clear narrative of events. It's also good form to not assume the actions of other characters unless absolutely necessary, since the repetition of the same events from different perspectives - especially when there are different actions taken in that moment from misunderstanding - gives conflicting reports of what is currently happening at that moment.
Natalia, there was a lot of skill overplay present in this thread from your part. Your character has Competent Deception, Novice Acting, no points in Storytelling and no points in Intimidation. Pretending to be Sophia is not going to be something one can perform with minimal effort, you cannot intimidate and manipulate strangers and your bosses with just some strong words and pretending that you're better than you actually are and have it work to great effect every time. You are also Competent Strength and Competent Unarmed Combat, so while holding your own during the fight with the stagehand was within level, being ambushed on the walk home and flooring him with a single punch to the face on reflex is well outside possibility. I'm also to understand this is not your first reminder on skill overplay during collaboration threads, including in Acting here, Acting, Deception and Intimidation here, and Acting and Storytelling here. You used all of them in this thread to a level between Expert and Master. Leniency has been offered before as a newer player but will not be offered now. Do not overplay your skill levels in the future, please. Last time I want it mentioned.
Lastly, Oberan, during review it was discovered that you have included Juggling as a skill in your Character Sheet and written that since juggling is not a skill, you are presuming that your character has mid-tier expert proficiency. This is not how skills work - you do not, under any circumstance, create a skill because you do not see it written in the Skills Ledger and presume what skill proficiency they have in it based off your own interpretation. Juggling and other feats of acrobatics can be presumed to fall under the Athletics skill, because as the Skills Primer states, "as long as it makes sense for a skill to be able to do that, then it can." You are a seasoned player, you shouldn't need to be told that you can't choose your own proficiency and make skills for yourself.
Closing this off: I'm sorry for being harsh, but I say this without malice: this thread was really difficult to read, and if a thread is unable to be understood and comprehended by the peer reviewers and staff members that read it, they are within their right to refuse to review it altogether and no points will be awarded until it is amended or rewritten. That wasn't necessary today, but it wasn't far off, and you've been warned before about this in a previous thread for the same thing. Please do not do it again in the future and show consideration for fellow peer reviewers and moderators.
Oberan:
XP - 15
Knowledge - Acting: (the play's the thing) x6
Discipline:(the play's the thing) x4
Renown - 5
Natalia:
XP - 15
Knowledge - Acting – Secret alter egos sometimes have their own likes and dislikes
Combat: Unarmed – Making someone let go of your hair by stomping on their foot.
Cosmetology – Recognizing a cut of dress that will not suit you
Deception – Managing someone’s expectations through deception is a viable tactic
Discipline – Keeping your voice from rising
Investigation – Figuring out the common denominator
Intimidation – If they think you’re a dragonbearer, point out why that’s bad news for them.
Stealth – Using distraction to hide your movements.
Strength – Shoving ‘dead’ weight along the floor.
Tactics – Luring someone into talking gives you time to think, or for the cavalry to arrive.
Renown - 5
This thread had a nice story. There's a good sense of tension during the action, there's a lot of emotion and nuance to the way your characters act and explain their motivations. Unfortunately, this thread completely stumped four peer reviewers when read.
From a narrative perspective, because of the constant swaps in control and action over the NPCs, the repeated skips in time to hours ahead and the 'present time', and use of prose and both internal and external monologue, I'm going to be blunt and say this thread was almost completely unreadable to a layman with no understanding of either of your characters or the narrative you were trying to convey. While experimentation is encouraged in storytelling, there is a basic expectation of consideration and awareness of peer reviewers and the need to read through what you write and understand the events that happen in it. I'm sorry to say that this didn't happen here - in all honesty, it reads as though there are two solos being written at different times, occasionally connecting with both characters performing conflicting narrative when it does meet. Moving into future threads, I would like to offer this advice to stop this happening again:
Oberan, please stop repeatedly skipping time (once isn't ideal, but you do it for 3 of your 5 posts). Following the actions of your character for half the thread when they had no involvement in the story from Natalia's perspective made this very difficult to read and confuses the beginning and middle of the thread from a clear narrative of events. It's also good form to not assume the actions of other characters unless absolutely necessary, since the repetition of the same events from different perspectives - especially when there are different actions taken in that moment from misunderstanding - gives conflicting reports of what is currently happening at that moment.
Natalia, there was a lot of skill overplay present in this thread from your part. Your character has Competent Deception, Novice Acting, no points in Storytelling and no points in Intimidation. Pretending to be Sophia is not going to be something one can perform with minimal effort, you cannot intimidate and manipulate strangers and your bosses with just some strong words and pretending that you're better than you actually are and have it work to great effect every time. You are also Competent Strength and Competent Unarmed Combat, so while holding your own during the fight with the stagehand was within level, being ambushed on the walk home and flooring him with a single punch to the face on reflex is well outside possibility. I'm also to understand this is not your first reminder on skill overplay during collaboration threads, including in Acting here, Acting, Deception and Intimidation here, and Acting and Storytelling here. You used all of them in this thread to a level between Expert and Master. Leniency has been offered before as a newer player but will not be offered now. Do not overplay your skill levels in the future, please. Last time I want it mentioned.
Lastly, Oberan, during review it was discovered that you have included Juggling as a skill in your Character Sheet and written that since juggling is not a skill, you are presuming that your character has mid-tier expert proficiency. This is not how skills work - you do not, under any circumstance, create a skill because you do not see it written in the Skills Ledger and presume what skill proficiency they have in it based off your own interpretation. Juggling and other feats of acrobatics can be presumed to fall under the Athletics skill, because as the Skills Primer states, "as long as it makes sense for a skill to be able to do that, then it can." You are a seasoned player, you shouldn't need to be told that you can't choose your own proficiency and make skills for yourself.
Closing this off: I'm sorry for being harsh, but I say this without malice: this thread was really difficult to read, and if a thread is unable to be understood and comprehended by the peer reviewers and staff members that read it, they are within their right to refuse to review it altogether and no points will be awarded until it is amended or rewritten. That wasn't necessary today, but it wasn't far off, and you've been warned before about this in a previous thread for the same thing. Please do not do it again in the future and show consideration for fellow peer reviewers and moderators.
Oberan:
XP - 15
Knowledge - Acting: (the play's the thing) x6
Discipline:(the play's the thing) x4
Renown - 5
Natalia:
XP - 15
Knowledge - Acting – Secret alter egos sometimes have their own likes and dislikes
Combat: Unarmed – Making someone let go of your hair by stomping on their foot.
Cosmetology – Recognizing a cut of dress that will not suit you
Deception – Managing someone’s expectations through deception is a viable tactic
Discipline – Keeping your voice from rising
Investigation – Figuring out the common denominator
Intimidation – If they think you’re a dragonbearer, point out why that’s bad news for them.
Stealth – Using distraction to hide your movements.
Strength – Shoving ‘dead’ weight along the floor.
Tactics – Luring someone into talking gives you time to think, or for the cavalry to arrive.
Renown - 5