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[M] Bye-Bye Birdie
Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 10:50 pm
by Mal
As Mal gripped his face, he felt a tingling numbness threading its way through his nerves like tiny needles beneath the skin. “I dunno, really.” His clutching hand dragged down, skin visibly disturbed across his face as if ripples on a pond. Where his hand touched and pinched, the skin crawled and bunched together, forming a thick hide that sprouted soft, fine hairs. It was Hyx fur, of course. It was long, pressing up against his fingers and feathering out.
Hand pulling away, that curiosity dissipated, leaving perfectly fine skin beneath. The tactile sensations were startling, and for a moment he couldn’t pay much attention to Eld because of how weird it was. “Yeah, I think I went too far. ‘sif the energy from my Hyx form is polluting this one in some off way.” It was true, typically he needed a few days of rest between Unleashing a few times. The past four days had seen several shape changes, and even discoveries. Mal’s abilities had grown, but at a cost.
With another step, he slowed down to let Eld catch up after noticing her slight exertion suddenly. In that moment, his ankle bent as his limbs felt liquid, like a sort of jelly. He caught himself and tangled his feet up, swaying forward to fall flat on his face, entire body wracked with pain. “Shit,” Mal grumbled in the dirt. He flipped over, fingers twitching as he tried to raise them. ”I really need some rest,” he mumbled quietly, finding difficulty in moving his lips.
“Sorry I’m so weak . . . not gonna baby up about it.” His head turned, muscles relaxing as his fingers curled, balled into a tight fist. Eventually, his arms wriggled, and he started to try and sit himself up, regaining some muscle traction. Feel like I’ve not got any circulation. It was the unpleasant sort of numbness that made you want to squirm. “Help me back to the barracks? My Block will take care of me.” He let out a stressed spout of air. “Should be able to stand and walk with ‘yer help.”
[M] Bye-Bye Birdie
Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2016 11:21 pm
by Nightshade Eld
She paused for a couple moments looking down at him. She wasn't sure he could walk, or if he even should for that matter with her help or not. "You know what, yeah, no. I'm carrying you," she said with this incredible look on her face that spoke volumes to her character. She kneeled down ignoring any complaints she got.
Now most wouldn't expect someone like Nightshade to be particularly strong. She used light weapons and in the midst of battle her entire focus came down to speed and being able to doge attacks. She wasn't the strongest person in the world. That was pure and simple fact in and of itself. But she sure as the wind howled and the sun rose wasn't the weakest person out out.
The extent of her strength was what shocked most. She hauled Mal right over her shoulder and actually started to carry him. "You know, you're lighter than a deer I had to sling over my shoulder a couple days back," she said with a small laugh. She didn't seem the most comfortable in the world but she sure as hell didn't seem bothered by the fact she had Mal thrown over her shoulder. If you asked her she'd say the most annoying part was that she couldn't fly with a passenger. Her wings weren't that strong yet.
"Your Block better be able to help you or else I'll knock them all over the head until they find someone that can," she growled quietly. Was that a spark of fear in her tone? It was! She had been worried about Mal the second he fell and regretted the fact she wasn't fast enough to catch him. The fact she was carrying him now should speak on how worried she was.
[M] Bye-Bye Birdie
Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2016 5:33 pm
by Mal
Mal looked up at Eld with frightened doe eyes when Night shifted the flow of the way things were going. Carry me? He gulped. Like a fekkin child? Nobody had really picked him up and 'carried' him before. Not since he was a tot, coddled briefly in amazement by his piece of shit of a caretaker before that sorry fool spiraled down into vice, and Mal had to figure out how to live on his own, or starve. Those were the types of memories invoked by something of the sort, for him, but he held his tongue.
"A'right," he said in a grumpy tone. "You can." Her arms came around him, and the Becomer let out a little pained grunt as she tossed him over her shoulder like a rag doll. His palms braced themselves against her back, against those folded wings beneath the cloak which felt so . . . bird-like. He was feeling like he was going to fall clean off as they moved, never quite feeling in balance, though his body was tingling something fierce and he knew he'd be hobbling even with support all the way back.
Degrading. It was. "We're the third building in that military section," he said, providing her with directions. "Yeah, this body's young an' skinny. He was a beggar before he passed in the streets, and I took his finger. 'Aven't used any other 'cept the one I was born with, the one I cast off like a shackle to escape someone vile."
"An' no, I'll be fine. Jus' need to rest and stop changing my shape so much for a few days." He was a lot more calm now, if a little nervous, even anxious in ways. It just felt so weird to be carried. It made him feel weak, useless.
When they got to the barracks, there were Etzori everywhere. Rockholm recognized Mal and Eld, waving them down. "That night in the tunnels catch up with you Mal?" he joked serenely, itching his beard. Another Mark came up, Joselyn. They both grabbed Mal underneath the arms and propped him up until he stood weakly. "Thanks..." Rockholm studied Eld for a moment, a look of intrigue on his face. "So you're not a full-blooded Avriel?" he wondered out loud.
"Her name's Eld." Mal said.
"Eld. I remember you from the infirmary. We didn't get to meet much, but I wanted to thank you for helping us out down there. T'was hairy as cats, a real firefight." He extended out a hand, intending for Nightshade to shake it. "Also gotta thank you for bringing our boy back to us." He smiled, giving Mal a nudge with an elbow. "Eh Mal, picked up by a girl?"
"Cut it out, Rockholm," Mal hissed. "Get me up on a horse, help me get my crap packed."
"Already is." He handed Mal a little fabric pouch. It had writing on it. 'Etzos Falcon' it said.
"Well I guess 'tis goodbye, Eld." The Becomer smiled. He brought an arm up to touch her shoulder. "Stay safe out there," a wink. "I'll return in one piece. 'Promise." He didn't know how to say goodbye. He tried. He didn't feel satisfied, only bearing a look of gloom and disappointment upon his face, brief joviality crossing it when their eyes met once more. Well, what am I gonna do?
Strangely, here among the Etzori . . . nobody snickered or sneered at the half-Avriel. They were either too busy to care, or their warrior nature advised them against such a judging attitude toward someone engaged. Or, Eld had built a name for herself in some way.
Joselyn and Rockholm heaved Mal up onto a horse, the beast swaying beneath him. There was room for one other - Mal didn't typically ride a horse. He just stayed a Hyx and used that form to cover lots of ground. He waved at Eld one more time before Rockholm climbed into the saddle with him. A slap of the rains, and the equine jostled forth, eight more steeds in its wake.
[M] Bye-Bye Birdie
Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2016 6:21 pm
by Nightshade Eld
Night followed the directions carefully trying her best not to jostle him to much. She didn't want to cause him any extra pain or anything. She didn't speak anymore until they got to the barracks just listening to him quietly. Here was a kind of somber aura about the whole situation, but she did her best to try and crush the feeling into a more mundane and neutral one.
She allowed the two to take Mal only after she looked right into Rockholms eyes and gave him a hard look over. A kind of judgment was passed and she allowed the far older and more grizzled warrior to take her friend off her hands. "That's right. My father was an outcast because his nature wasn't befitting of the avriel. He was always more of a scholar than a piece of elitist trash like grandfather," she shivered at the word grandfather preferring not to go into detail. "The grands on both halves of my family were never pleasurable. First time I met my grandmother on my fathers side she tried to kill me. The least to say is that I was raised by humans, the only avriel influence I ever got was from my father. I was born and raised in the general area of Etzos and I was taught to protect those who needed protection. Hence why I wandered into the underground," she said she smiled and shook his hand when offered.
"Mal is a good warrior and a good friend," she said simply a look of amusement flickering in her eyes. "Make sure he doesn't get himself killed without me!" She said with a laugh. The only two times they'd been in a fight together Mal had nearly gotten himself torn apart, brutally murdered, and eaten alive. So even though she phrased the line in a like joking way there was a certain note of serious to her voice.
She smiled at Mal upon their goodbye, a bittersweet smile. She seemed a lot more at ease knowing exactly who he would be working with. There was a certain breed of trust that had come with that small amount of eye contact.
"Bye!" She yelled waving at Mal as the horses took off. She hoped that luck went with her favorite Hyx.
[M] Bye-Bye Birdie
Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2016 5:29 pm
by Golem

Name: Nightshade Eld
Knowledge:
Becoming: Unleashing is Fast
Becoming: Headaches from Overstepping
Discipline: Insults Provide Determination
Intimidation: Magic is Terrifying
Intimidation: Sometimes Words aren't Enough
Mal: Abandoned his Original Form
Mal: Human Form #1
Mal: Member of the Etzori
Running: Feet are Better than Talons
Self: Rejected Becoming
Self: Proud of Who You Are
Strength: Fireman Carry
Loot:
None
Injuries:
None
Fame:
+3 (Good Deed, Supporting a Popular Cause)
Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 4/5
Comments:
I, unfortunately, was forced to deduct a point from Structure do to numerous spelling mistakes and incorrect word usage. I would also advise you to use more commas in your writing. Rereading your posts just before you submit the thread for grading will help get rid of those. The story itself was engaging and exciting, so keep up the good work there!
- - -
Name:Mal
Knowledge:
Discipline: Friends in Danger Provoke You
Intimidation: Magic can Terrify
Intimidation: Sometimes Words aren't Enough
Intimidation: How to Scare Drunkards into Unconsciousness
Becoming: Absorbing Clothing
Becoming: Hyx Fur Leaks Through
Overstepping: Headache
Nightshade:Novice Cartographer
Nightshade: Stronger than she Looks
Nightshade: Magnet for Trouble
Loot:
None
Injuries:
Black eye for a few trials, General soreness from Overstepping for a trial.
Fame:
-2 (Act of Magic)
Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure:5/5
Comments:
I didn't give you more negative fame due to the behaviour of the drunk (Otherwise Eld would've lost fame for being witness to the act). If the two of you agree, PM me and I can give you more negative fame at the cost of Eld loosing a fair chunk of fame too.
A side note: I was fairly close to taking off a point in structure due to some incorrect word choices, among other things. You also, I'm assuming accidentally, copied one of Night's paragraphs in post #7... There were several other word choices in the post where you scare the man (ie, flatulence consumed. It consumed what?) that just didn't make sense. It looks like you usually either read over your posts a second time, or are good about writing clearly the first time, but I'd add another edit to your process, just before you submit it for grading.
- - -
Comments:
Overall, it was a good thread. It wrapped up their adventures together well, and provided a bit of character development for them both. I was a bit confused by the setting- you mentioned it was mid-morning, yet there was a drunk in the alley that was berating you? As well, Night then mentions she's "At a point in the night when..." I'd just try to clear that up between the two of you before hand.
Mal, your EXP can be used for Magic!
If you feel I've missed anything or if you have questions about your review, please don't hesitate to send me a quick PM. Thank you!