The two young women had known each other for a number of arcs and Valeria had thought that they knew each other fairly well, but now the Gawyne was revealing a whole host of surprises to her. First, a hug and now, she was asking for her trust and hurrying away into a crowded room. This was Ivy, who was the very definition of a wallflower, doing everything she could muster to avoid being noticed by anyone. It was enough to make the blonde gawk after her, creeping close to the wall and edging along so she could peer inside.
As she made her cautious move, she continued to worry that someone might look out and catch sight of her. The horrifying notion that someone might see her like this, her face blotched with tears and smeared with make-up was more than she could bear. As such, her fear of ugliness helped to maintain the very thing that her friend so desperately wanted her to see for herself.
Her colour-shifting eyes searched the room, looking for the young lady and wondering if she might have simply abandoned her to her fate. It would be a fine bit of revenge. After all, she'd caused her friend so much anxiety that she'd begun to panic so wasn't it only fair that she force the Burhan to experience some of the same feeling? But no, she could see her, apparently talking to a noblewoman, something that made no sense to her. She couldn't understand what Ivy had gone to do but the fact that she had apparently willingly engaged another person in conversation only confused matters further rather than clearing them up. It seemed a total mystery and yet if she trusted the young woman instead of suspecting her then she was presumably doing whatever it was for her benefit.
The blonde ducked back out of sight, waiting anxiously for her companion to make a reappearance, raising a hand to her mouth, fingers twitching across her lips. She went to bite one of the nails but went against such an inclination, picking briefly at her teeth with it instead. Worse, she was tempted to move her fingers somewhere else, to send them crawling down her throat. It wasn't an inclination that she'd had for quite some time, not for many arcs. She hadn't tried to make herself throw up since those dark trials before she'd properly been re-introduced to Ivy. Back then, she had felt so low, been so self-conscious, so hating of her own appearance and she'd been so certain that if she just didn't eat, she'd be so very beautiful. It had been utter foolishness but now, the feeling returned, linked to her extreme anxiety.
Before she could do anything drastic, her friend appeared, almost letting out a scream at the shock of seeing her return so abruptly. Without giving her a chance to question her about what in Zanik's name she'd been doing, Ivy held out a mirror to her, angling it just so, allowing her to catch sight of her own reflection.
The image that she saw was alien to her. Her mind told her that it was her image, her reflection but her eyes... She reached up to her own face, fingers tracing her features. What she felt was at odds with what she saw, and when she squinted, it didn't show as expected. Her skin was perfect, no blemishes, no blotching. Her eyes were bright and the colour was magnificent, a golden-hue that was truly breath-taking. And to top it all off, there was this glow, an iridescence that seemed to ooze from her skin so that she was aglow. It didn't looked real but instead seemed like something that ought to belong in a dream. It was enough to make her want to sob anew but the sight was also painful. To look at the reflection actually hurt, sending a slow, pulsing ache through her head.
Valeria turned her gaze away with a wince, pressing her fingertips to her temples. "I can't look at it long. It's like... I'm doing this, right? I must be, because of Zanik," she breathed, too awed to articulate how she felt. "I don't think it's meant for me. I think it's for other people to feel the effects of, not me but it... it can't be permanent, can it?" she questioned, feeling uncertain that such a thing could be truth. Even as she wondered about it, the effect ebbed, not as a result of her thoughts but as it finally reached the limit of its duration.
When she glanced in the mirror again, she could see her appearance as it truly was, red eyes and grotesquely smeared make-up. It made her moan, hands moving to hide her face. "Oh I need to sneak around and go upstairs. I need to fix this," she hissed. "Please help. I can't be seen like this. I can't-"
As she made her cautious move, she continued to worry that someone might look out and catch sight of her. The horrifying notion that someone might see her like this, her face blotched with tears and smeared with make-up was more than she could bear. As such, her fear of ugliness helped to maintain the very thing that her friend so desperately wanted her to see for herself.
Her colour-shifting eyes searched the room, looking for the young lady and wondering if she might have simply abandoned her to her fate. It would be a fine bit of revenge. After all, she'd caused her friend so much anxiety that she'd begun to panic so wasn't it only fair that she force the Burhan to experience some of the same feeling? But no, she could see her, apparently talking to a noblewoman, something that made no sense to her. She couldn't understand what Ivy had gone to do but the fact that she had apparently willingly engaged another person in conversation only confused matters further rather than clearing them up. It seemed a total mystery and yet if she trusted the young woman instead of suspecting her then she was presumably doing whatever it was for her benefit.
The blonde ducked back out of sight, waiting anxiously for her companion to make a reappearance, raising a hand to her mouth, fingers twitching across her lips. She went to bite one of the nails but went against such an inclination, picking briefly at her teeth with it instead. Worse, she was tempted to move her fingers somewhere else, to send them crawling down her throat. It wasn't an inclination that she'd had for quite some time, not for many arcs. She hadn't tried to make herself throw up since those dark trials before she'd properly been re-introduced to Ivy. Back then, she had felt so low, been so self-conscious, so hating of her own appearance and she'd been so certain that if she just didn't eat, she'd be so very beautiful. It had been utter foolishness but now, the feeling returned, linked to her extreme anxiety.
Before she could do anything drastic, her friend appeared, almost letting out a scream at the shock of seeing her return so abruptly. Without giving her a chance to question her about what in Zanik's name she'd been doing, Ivy held out a mirror to her, angling it just so, allowing her to catch sight of her own reflection.
The image that she saw was alien to her. Her mind told her that it was her image, her reflection but her eyes... She reached up to her own face, fingers tracing her features. What she felt was at odds with what she saw, and when she squinted, it didn't show as expected. Her skin was perfect, no blemishes, no blotching. Her eyes were bright and the colour was magnificent, a golden-hue that was truly breath-taking. And to top it all off, there was this glow, an iridescence that seemed to ooze from her skin so that she was aglow. It didn't looked real but instead seemed like something that ought to belong in a dream. It was enough to make her want to sob anew but the sight was also painful. To look at the reflection actually hurt, sending a slow, pulsing ache through her head.
Valeria turned her gaze away with a wince, pressing her fingertips to her temples. "I can't look at it long. It's like... I'm doing this, right? I must be, because of Zanik," she breathed, too awed to articulate how she felt. "I don't think it's meant for me. I think it's for other people to feel the effects of, not me but it... it can't be permanent, can it?" she questioned, feeling uncertain that such a thing could be truth. Even as she wondered about it, the effect ebbed, not as a result of her thoughts but as it finally reached the limit of its duration.
When she glanced in the mirror again, she could see her appearance as it truly was, red eyes and grotesquely smeared make-up. It made her moan, hands moving to hide her face. "Oh I need to sneak around and go upstairs. I need to fix this," she hissed. "Please help. I can't be seen like this. I can't-"