It was over. It was over.
The snake-woman who had dared put her hands on Jack was wrapped around him, speaking to him as if that alone might stop him, and in response he thrashed and kicked, trying to work his arms free of her grip, that was all he needed. He had already slashed through her once, a maddening spatter of blood from her stomach that, like Tristan's gory face and Faith's cracked bones, had only made him more angry. Once his arms were free, even just one arm, he just needed one, he could take the dagger and stick it through the snake's traitorous throat, finish her off, bathe the deck in her blood--
And then he heard a shout, and the air went heavy in his chest, and he was free.
On his hands and knees he scuttled away from the snake-woman, the hate inside him abruptly turning to fear and pain. Fear and pain. And confusion. Jack was pressed up against his side shaking and snarling at anyone who seemed to want to get near. One of his hands went to the dog, the other to the sharp awful pain radiating out from his shoulder. He dropped the dagger.
They had all stopped.
And were looking at him.
A Yludih's nightmare.
"I--" he said, wanting to do something, wanting to say something, but not knowing what to do or say.
And then, as if he had forgotten --but how could he have?-- he remembered what he had just been doing.
Fighting. Slashing. Killing. He had wanted to hurt, to kill these people. People he had worked with. Joined the ship with. U'frek. There was a sudden flash of horror. People he knew. Tristan. Faith. Lei'lira.
What had he done?
In the quiet there were the groans of those who had been hurt in the scrum-- mostly nameless sailors. He had thought he had killed more, but so far only one of the bodies on the deck held completely still. The others squirmed and cried out in pain. Two, three, more. People he had hurt. Why had he done that? Why? He didn't know.
"I don't... know what's happening," he said, and then put one hand to his mouth, feeling like he might throw up. Beside him, Jack whimpered and snarled.
"I--" He couldn't look at what he had done. The destruction and pain. Then he noticed the blood on his hands. He wiped it against his clothes, wanting it off of him, off, but it was stained into his skin.
What had he done? Why had he attacked these people?
He remembered being angry. So angry. But he couldn't remember why. Something about-- something about how they had betrayed them. How U'frek had betrayed him. But that was wrong. It was him-- he was the one. He had done the betraying. Not them. Not them.
Him.
"I--" He still didn't know what to say. "I'm--" There wasn't anything. No explanation. And I'm sorry wasn't enough. Eventually, breathing hard, he gripped the ship's railing and worked his way slowly to his feet. Somehow he wasn't hurt, only his shoulder, but he was so jittery he didn't know if he could be trusted to stand on his own. He couldn't be trusted at all. Jack pressed herself against his leg, ears back and tail down.
He tried to collect himself but it felt all wrong inside. "I-I need--" No. He didn't need anything. They needed. They needed him to be away from them. Immortals, what if it happened again? What if he got angry? Lashed out? Hurt more? Killed more? No. No.
His voice quivered when he spoke. "D-Does the ship have a brig?" He couldn't remember. He hadn't finished doing a walk-through of the hold yesterday. It probably did. It was a large ship. "Someone-- someone needs to take me to the brig. Now. O-Or--" He glanced at the bloody dagger on the deck. His dagger. He had used it to-- no no no no! Sick with what he'd done, eyes wet and frightened like Jack's, he kicked the weapon away from him to slide to the nearest person. Disarming himself completely. "The brig," he said weakly. "O-Or something."
The snake-woman who had dared put her hands on Jack was wrapped around him, speaking to him as if that alone might stop him, and in response he thrashed and kicked, trying to work his arms free of her grip, that was all he needed. He had already slashed through her once, a maddening spatter of blood from her stomach that, like Tristan's gory face and Faith's cracked bones, had only made him more angry. Once his arms were free, even just one arm, he just needed one, he could take the dagger and stick it through the snake's traitorous throat, finish her off, bathe the deck in her blood--
And then he heard a shout, and the air went heavy in his chest, and he was free.
On his hands and knees he scuttled away from the snake-woman, the hate inside him abruptly turning to fear and pain. Fear and pain. And confusion. Jack was pressed up against his side shaking and snarling at anyone who seemed to want to get near. One of his hands went to the dog, the other to the sharp awful pain radiating out from his shoulder. He dropped the dagger.
They had all stopped.
And were looking at him.
A Yludih's nightmare.
"I--" he said, wanting to do something, wanting to say something, but not knowing what to do or say.
And then, as if he had forgotten --but how could he have?-- he remembered what he had just been doing.
Fighting. Slashing. Killing. He had wanted to hurt, to kill these people. People he had worked with. Joined the ship with. U'frek. There was a sudden flash of horror. People he knew. Tristan. Faith. Lei'lira.
What had he done?
In the quiet there were the groans of those who had been hurt in the scrum-- mostly nameless sailors. He had thought he had killed more, but so far only one of the bodies on the deck held completely still. The others squirmed and cried out in pain. Two, three, more. People he had hurt. Why had he done that? Why? He didn't know.
"I don't... know what's happening," he said, and then put one hand to his mouth, feeling like he might throw up. Beside him, Jack whimpered and snarled.
"I--" He couldn't look at what he had done. The destruction and pain. Then he noticed the blood on his hands. He wiped it against his clothes, wanting it off of him, off, but it was stained into his skin.
What had he done? Why had he attacked these people?
He remembered being angry. So angry. But he couldn't remember why. Something about-- something about how they had betrayed them. How U'frek had betrayed him. But that was wrong. It was him-- he was the one. He had done the betraying. Not them. Not them.
Him.
"I--" He still didn't know what to say. "I'm--" There wasn't anything. No explanation. And I'm sorry wasn't enough. Eventually, breathing hard, he gripped the ship's railing and worked his way slowly to his feet. Somehow he wasn't hurt, only his shoulder, but he was so jittery he didn't know if he could be trusted to stand on his own. He couldn't be trusted at all. Jack pressed herself against his leg, ears back and tail down.
He tried to collect himself but it felt all wrong inside. "I-I need--" No. He didn't need anything. They needed. They needed him to be away from them. Immortals, what if it happened again? What if he got angry? Lashed out? Hurt more? Killed more? No. No.
His voice quivered when he spoke. "D-Does the ship have a brig?" He couldn't remember. He hadn't finished doing a walk-through of the hold yesterday. It probably did. It was a large ship. "Someone-- someone needs to take me to the brig. Now. O-Or--" He glanced at the bloody dagger on the deck. His dagger. He had used it to-- no no no no! Sick with what he'd done, eyes wet and frightened like Jack's, he kicked the weapon away from him to slide to the nearest person. Disarming himself completely. "The brig," he said weakly. "O-Or something."
"Speaking in Rakahi"
"Speaking in Common"
"Speaking in Ulehi"
"Speaking in Common"
"Speaking in Ulehi"




