Fantasy RPG Forum - Standing Trials

Timestamp: 46th of Ymiden, Arc 721

It wasn’t that Prae had been avoiding Elisabeth, precisely. It was just that… He hadn’t wanted to have this conversation with her before he was ready. Or any conversation, just in case it led to this one.

Alright, Prae had been avoiding her. He didn’t think she’d noticed—they were both busy people, and Prae had excused himself back to Rharne after the feast—but Prae knew he couldn’t put this conversation off any longer.

Stepping out of his tent in Haven, Prae stretched his arms above his head, sighing. Patting his side to make sure his domain bag was there, he started walking out to the beach. This early in the morning, he thought it a fair bet that she would be there, or would be soon.

He arrived to find Elisabeth standing by the water, as she often was. Padding through the sand, he sent a light gust of wind to dance around her, flicking her hair into her face.

The sight of her eased some tiny anxiety in him, and drew a larger worry to the surface. It wasn’t that he thought this conversation would go badly—Prae thought he had a pretty good grasp on Elisabeth by now, and felt he knew how she would respond. That didn’t make anticipating speaking the words any easier, to dredge up those old wounds he’d been hiding from for arcs.

“Good morning,“ he called as he drew closer. “Do you have a bit or two?” He hesitated. “I wanted to talk about what happened to you on Ishallr. What I did.”

Prae knew. Of course he knew—Elisabeth was not the sort who would blame him for his missteps, not when he had the best of intentions in trying to save her. But hearing it all the same soothed him, settled his fears and made him smile. "Thank you," he said softly, his tail sweeping out to wrap loosely around her arm, squeezing affectionately before letting go. "But I thought you deserved to understand why I did it all the same. Cassion... encouraged me to give it some thought, and you have a right to know. And I suppose... I wanted to get it off my chest."



Sitting down on the beach, Praetorum turned to face the sea, the sand settling warm and comfortable underneath him. Off in the distance, Ishallr was faintly visible, the island and its Induk calling lightly to him. Certainly to Elisabeth, too, Ice Forged as they both were. It was beautiful, from a distance. One would never guess just from looking at it how deadly it truly was. 



"I had brothers, once." Prae said softly, still staring off towards the island. "I've never told you that, have I? I had two brothers, when I lived in the Empire. Serinus was my nestmate, hatched only a few minutes after me. Luther was a human—our families were close, and he was nearly our age, so we naturally fell in together." Reaching into his domain bag, Prae pulled out a small crystal statue, the one he'd been given at the feast. Depicted were three teenage boys in a tangle of limbs and laughs, frozen in time as they playfully shoved at each other. He showed it to Elisabeth, lightly tracing one crystal arm with his claws. 



"I was the oldest, and the strongest, and the bravest. It was my job to chase away bullies, to teach them to fight back, to protect them, and I—" Behind him, his tail lashed in agitation. 



"We went down different paths when we grew up—Luther stayed on his family farm, I became a soldier, and Serinus a spy. We kept in contact, wrote letters when it was safe, visited whenever we could. And then... "


Around them, the elements began to twist and turn, responding to Praetorum's pain and grief. The air began to tumble, the waves began to crash, the sand began to tremble. But only for a moment, before the defier settled his emotions, closing his eyes to try and center himself. 


"My parents died early in the Nashaki campaign. It wasn't a tragedy—they were both of them war heroes, giving their lives for their unit—but it was painful all the same. Serinus took it worse than I did, and he stopped writing to me after the funeral. I thought he just needed space, so I let him." The words came out eerily calm now, as Praetorum worked to keep his emotions in check. "Two seasons later, his handler writes to me. Says Serinus missed his last two check ins, says no one in the order could find him again. He just... vanished." Praetorum's voice wavered slightly at that last word, before he caught himself. 



"The season after that, I get another letter. There was a fire at Luther's farm. No survivors. Both of them were just... gone, and there was nothing I could do. I wasn't there when they needed me, I wasn't there the one time they really, truly needed protecting."



"I found them both again, and lost them both the second time too. Serinus appeared an arc later as a spy for... some one else, just in time to die in my arms. Luther became a ghost. We met again in a dream, and he... I don't know what happened to him afterwards. I don't even know if it was real, or if I dreamed it all. Everything else about that dream turned out to be true, but Luther..." Prae shook his head. 



"I couldn't save them. I couldn't help them, I couldn't do a damned thing for either of them. And I— It— When I saw you there, freezing to death before my eyes, I just. I couldn't take it. I couldn't take the idea that there was nothing I could do to save you. I did... I believe I did the best thing that I could have. Only, I should have done nothing at all, just let them bring you to the temple and save you there. But I just couldn't accept that in the moment. I panicked. And for that, I'm sorry."


Prae smiled faintly. "I know what you're going to say. You're going to tell me I have nothing to be sorry for, but you're wrong. I don't have to apologize for not wanting you to die, but I... I shouldn't have been so foolish about it. I let my fear blind me, and my instinctive reaction led to the worst outcome for all of us. Again."