
Night felt her heart hammering against her ribcage. She needed to stop appeared in strange places, each scarier than the last. the bridge swayed under her feet, creaking dangerously, her body feeling rather heavy. This was the first time she'd felt the fear of falling in many arcs. It ran through her entire body, forcing a shiver and wreathing around her mind and heart. It took her a moment to compose herself properly, reminding herself that no, she couldn't fall, it wasn't possible. Hopefully. After she conquered the original weakness of the feathery appendages she hadn't felt the same sickening fear that she once did whenever she was someplace high. The feeling of fear had instead always been replaced by a prevailing peace that swelled in her chest and urged her higher, higher, higher. If anything, flying had become therapy or perhaps a kind of drug. And yet, here she was, standing in a position where if only for a moment she felt like a child again, scared to fall a couple feet because she knew she wasn't strong enough to beat her wings let alone pick herself up. The cold steel that encased the feathered appendages didn't help much either. It made her feel all the heavier. Her steel coated claws duck into the wood as she pulled on a deep breath and forced her nerves to relax.
Night turned about trying to take stock of everything around her. The flame did little to help ease her nerves. The brilliant fire meant fear, and she was completely alone if she had to face any dangers. Of course, that was how it always ended up. At the end of the trial, she was alone, and she could only rely on herself. She turned her attention to the dock. There a familiar figure stood. Carefully she picked her way across the bridge, each creek of the wood causing another shock of fear to run through her body. The flame continued to flare brilliantly, hungrily, she wanted to take up a position that was defensive. She was scared. But she wasn't going to act like a frightened animal no matter how much her nature begged it to be so. Fear could often times come off as aggression, just ask animals backed into a corner and any hunter that faced it. Her eyes tilted upwards towards the bell as she walked towards the dock. She wanted it to ring, she wanted it to ring so desperately because the ringing of bells was something she associated with wind and wind storms, and it didn't matter if the fire was actually closing in or not, it felt like it. Oh, immortals did it ever feel like it. It was getting so hard to breathe, so very hard to breath. She wanted to fly up, up, up and escape whatever mess she was in now, but there was no running away and turning her back on this challenge. The rushing of wind, the freedom of the clouds, the ability to be far away from any other living being, the ability to breath. Why did the air feel so thick? She couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe!
Taking one last final step, closing the distance between herself and her lovely host, she forced one last breath into her lungs trying to force the air into her body. It felt too hot, uncomfortably hot, at least it felt so. It didn't matter if it actually was or not, the half-breed was going to choke on stifling flames. The words needed to come out in order to banish the fires. Panic, panic, panic, panic. Oh, how she wanted to stay strong and pretend how it was nothing. How she wanted to acknowledge the fact that this situation was currently completely harmless, but her mind wouldn't come to terms with that fact and she could feel the horrible screeching danger clawing at the back of her eyes, threatening to make her hands shake, her eyes leak, daring her to slip up, daring her to look weak. She couldn't begin to explain why the random flurry of emotions had stolen away her peace of mind. It was a combination of her actions in the last part of the game, which she'd hated herself for fiercely, and a strange inexplicable phantom of her own mind which if she took the time to think didn't actually exist.
She forced one last breath into her body. In the span of trills her mind had worked its way into this panic. The man bowed, saying his piece to her. She had bowed in return. "Congratulations," he said to her with a smile. If it was truly kind of not, she didn't know, but her mind made up whispers of how disappointed and scornful the expression truly was. He didn't want her here. "You have reached round two of the game. Not all teams made it this far. But yours did. So, we will make our way, now, to the Choosing Ground. It is a brief boat journey." The whir of thoughts were familiar and old, ones that she hadn't had for at least a couple seasons prior. Their taste was bitter and she wasn't sure what had brought them about. Stress? Anger? Perhaps she'd just come face to face with the actual reality of the situation when she'd done so very little to actually help her team advance during the events of the prior part of the game. She didn't deserve it, the shield-shaped emblem on the back of her hand. At least she didn't feel like she did right now.
The man offered his boat to get to the Choosing Ground, something she appreciated since she feared she lacked the strength at present to fly. When she was hesitant to step into the boat, one foot quivering as she tried to decide where to place it, the other clinging to the dock for dear life, she held out her hand with an expression begging for help. If the immortal took her hand, perhaps he would realize how much it was shaking as her heart furiously pounded in her chest. She'd heard of this before, or at least something similar once upon a time. Icarus had told her about it when he'd made a fruitless attempt to teach her medicine. She thought it was called a panic attack...
As she sat down on the boat she closed her eyes, taking slow and deep breaths, hoping to calm herself at least slightly. She weaved her hands together and kept her legs from crossing, instead just forcing her knees next to one another. It was roughly 20 trills before she opened her eyes again, looking at the immortal rowing the boat. She took a deep breath. What needed to be said needed to be said. "My greatest and most sincere apologies for how I acted at the begin of this game. I rejected a gift, and that was doubtlessly rude. It's something that I regretted near after, but the past is something I've found can't be reclaimed and actions need to be taken account for, so I feel as though I must apologize. I allowed my own distrustful fears to take hold of me. There's only so many times you can get food poisoning, or stabbed or used to get rid of 'evidence' before you learn to distrust gifts," a couple tears escaped her orbs as she took another breath trying to compose herself. The breath shivered as did her whole body as she wrapped her arms around herself, specifically letting them rest upon her abdomen. The number of times she'd taken lesser poisons as a child for the amusement of those around her, no, she didn't trust anymore. She wasn't allowed to trust anymore. She didn't want gifts anymore, but that was a rather childish thought to have. Ironically enough. "I understand that not everyone means malice with their actions. I was stupid, I made a decision that I regretted and I want a second chance, something that seems to happen a lot with me. And I don't blame anyone who doesn't want to give that second chance. At the end of the trial, I am a foolish, rude, half-bred monstrosity of a creature who lacks tact or manner and could learn a thing or two about gifts. But I try my best to keep myself and those around me alive and well, and I won't discredit myself of that. Again, I'm so sorry," she said.
The woman lowered her head quietly, a silent sign that she was ready for whatever scorn that would and should be placed upon her. Her hands had stopped shaking and when the boat docked once more, she managed to step out of the boat on her own this time.
Staring down the door as her feet tried to dig themselves into the floor of the island, she gulped. The waves of panic had finally subsided slightly. She once again had control of her emotions. She still had no explanation for the sudden appearance or disappearance of the strange panic, but she didn't have the time to think about it. Pushing the door open she tried to step through as she squinted against the light.