• Mature • When We Burn

[Malcolm]

62 Vhalar 716

Malcolm had purchased a wagon, an item they had long needed out on the farm for some time now to cart goods back and forth, especially materials from the city that were difficult to get delivered during these hard times, Rynmere post civil war. He had bathed and dressed that morning before going to the markets to collect what Elyna had put on hold for the house. She had planned to extend the house off the living room, adding a second bedroom for when the baby came and was a little older. Malcolm had also purchased a couple of surprise items for her, a cradle, blankets, along with an assortment of other things that would help Elyna once the baby was here.
The knight had worked up a sweat loading the wood and new tools onto the wagon and had Benjamin fetch Mithril from the farm on his way back from an early morning patrol down at the docks. With two horses set up for pulling the wagon, they could get away with a little more weight than was fair on one. Malcolm paid to an extra window to replace the one he had broken in a fit of rage, and climbed up into the driver's seat after thanking Benjamin for his efforts.
Approaching the Burhan estate had filled the man with a strange, nervous energy, one he tried his best to mask, with a face like stone, his mind set on what he had come here to do. Elyna's parents would probably not be pleased to see her go, especially her mother, who only two nights ago had thrown the contents of her wineglass at the mortalborn's face, soaking his shirt and the inside of his tabard. He had taken the act surprisingly well and left without a fuss that night. Initially Malcolm had been perplexed by the actions of the baroness, and wondered what gave her the right to act in such a manner, and around someone who had once been her equal in status. It was then he thought of Elyna and everything he would do to protect her, and knew he had just been on the receiving end of her mother's love and devotion.
As the house came into view, the knight hushed the disapproving voice of doubt in his head and continued on up the drive until he had reached the turnabout. Steering the horses and bringing them to a stop at the same time was trickier than it looked, and Red made a restless sound, raking at the small stones underfoot, and trying to raise his head higher than the harness would allow. Malcolm was met by one of the servants on his way up the steps to the main door, and he inquired after Elyna, asking the young woman to go and fetch her. He hadn't made plans to stick around, but was ready for the invitation Elyna might extend for him to stay a little while, if only to meet her parents officially.

► Show Spoiler

Items Purchased

Horse Harness - 30 gn
Bucket - 2 gn
Large Wagon – 60 gn
Spade – 4 gn
Carpenters Kit - 50 gn
Wolf Fur Cloak – 20 gn
Large Bag - 4 sn
Canteen – 5 gn
4 x Light Blanket – 2 gn
Medium Blanket – 4 gn
Heavy Blanket – 8 gn
Desk – 20 gn
Armchair – 15 gn
2 x Bedside Tables – 30 gn
2 x Cabinet – 30 gn
Cradle – 20 gn
Brick Oven – 70 gn
Small Dresser – 30 gn
2 x Pillows – 10 gn
6 x Wine Glasses – 6 gn
2 x Medium Shelves – 15 gn
Small Cooking Cauldron – 8 gn
Queen Bed – 100 gn
Queen Fitted Sheet – 2 gn
Queen Flat Sheet – 1 gn

Total: 512 gn 4 sn

[Elyna]

Elyna wasn’t as speedy as she had been previously. She felt like a rolling stone; slow, round and cumbersome. All aspects of her body ached and with her lungs crushed within her ribs. The summons arrived and she paused, closed her eyes and issued a silent prayer. Fighting with herself was exhausting but she was still excited at the prospect of returning home.Home with Malcolm. Excited and twisted with anxiety. Things were not fixed. She needed him although whenever she tried to pinpoint why she was met with all the reasons it was better that he simply stayed away.
It was Caelan who swept into the hallway. The train of another blue dress sighing over polished wooden floors. The blonde’s hair was pinned in neat victory curls. The woman was making a point with the colours she wore, she was still a Burhan and she remained proud of that fact. If Malcolm had any desire to pay attention he might notice that her features were a similar, sharper, version of his Skyrider’s although there was nothing of Elyna in the Baroness’s bright blue eyes. As children, Caelan and Vanessa had been close and often mistaken for one another. As they grew into adolescence their friendship had grown distant and faded to written correspondence.
The woman was taller than both her husband and daughter also, almost matching Malcolm in height as she approached and studied him.
“I told you to leave my house,” she reminded him and her gaze narrowed. As though the order had stretched beyond the night of the ball and for eternity. “Elyna tells me that you’re older than you look, Ser Krome. Truly, you must tell me the secret of your cosmetic routine, because I would swear on the Seven that you are not a man who is thirteen years my senior?” She raised a brow in challenge. If the public records were a lie, then who was the man before her? A murderer, a robber, a criminal on the run? The Vanessa she had known was an honest woman. Had the man before her killed an old friend and destroyed the future of her daughter? Pavoo and Elyna had elected not to share the entire truth with Caelan, each for their own reasons.
There was a shriek and a flap of wings to herald Elyna’s arrival. The Hawk was perched on her shoulder stretching himself as he woke. Seeing Caelan with Malcolm, Elyna felt her heart sink into her boots. What had her Mother been saying?
“Your grace?” She approached and felt her ears burning. She wore the same deep velvet dress from the ball, with Malcolm’s cloak fastened over her shoulders to prevent a chill from Autumn air. It still swamped her, made for much broader shoulders.
Caelan turned her piercing gaze from the man to watch her daughter, a scowl forming on well-kept features. The Baroness was not happy. She also didn’t like the hawk and was unable to approach the Skyrider in order to beseech her. It was as though the animal knew, because he fluttered her wings, extending them as far as he could in her direction and forced the woman to take a step back.
“Elyna,” Caelan warned, “this is madness. There is not long to go and you will need a Doctor, a midwife! Stay with us and let us look after you, please.” She’d turned her shoulder to Malcolm, determined to address her daughter and sway her mind.
“Mother,” Elyna curled a hand over the Hawk’s feet as they curled into her shoulder. The motion seemed to calm him because he tucked his beak over her ear, nibbling the ridge, “you know my plans,” she spoke with her usual reluctance to commit words to sound. Forcing herself to be heard, “I intend to return on the 100th. There will still be a few trials before the baby is due.”
“But they don’t come when they’re due!” Her mother protested and glanced at Malcolm, as though to seek support for sensible plans from an unlikely source. “You’ll be out there, on your own. There are Bandits, Elyna and the Iron Hand is struggling-”
Elyna couldn’t help that smile that threatened to appear and bit the inside her of top lip to hide it. Her Mother seemed to forget in an instant the fact that she, a Captain of Skyriders, would know more of the Iron Hand than the Baroness of Burhan, famed for her socialising.
“Malcolm will remain with me…” she hoped. They hadn’t spoken about anything, but she hoped and then feared it in the same breath.
Caelan glanced at the man again with a look that warned him of dire consequences, should anything befall her daughter. A little late perhaps, but parents were always parents.
“You were always fond of strays,” her gaze fell on the hawk for a moment before she turned and made her exit, glancing over her shoulder at the Mortalborn once more. Her point made.
Was it possible to die from embarrassment? Elyna turned to Malcolm at last and took her turn to study him. Was he tired? He looked neat and tidy as she’d come to expect and he smelt better than he had a couple of nights before with the wine sticking to the side of his face and pooling in his shirt. Curious eyes met his before they dropped to his boots.
“Well,” Elyna lifted her shoulders in a shrug, “it could have been worse,” her Mother had a sharp tongue, “you could have been shot...how is your arm?”

[Malcolm]

Malcolm was met by the cold, hard stare of mother hen, and he felt the hairs on his arms bristle beneath the long sleeves of his shirt. She made a boy of him for but a split second, and he rocked back on his feet, hesitant. "Immortality will do wonders for you," he promised, "perhaps you'll find someone kind enough to push you into the White Well?" He teased as if that were how he had come about his good fortune regarding his ageless state. The woman, like most he answered in his way, scoffed and addressed her daughter as Elyna came down the hall.
The knight waited while the two of them conversed, adding his opinion only where and when called upon. "Your mother is right," he had to agree with the baroness, "but we don't live far from the city, and I will pay for a midwife to stay with us closer to the time," he assured her then. He was going to take care of Elyna, they would never need worry about that.
Malcolm was not surprised to see that Elyna's father had not come to the door, the baron had always been rumoured to be a very private man, his line of work calling for him to be careful, and after his scare in ymiden, well, Malcolm could only imagine what he thought of strangers right about now. Elyna tried to make light of the confrontational greeting, and Malcolm forced a smile, he had dealt with worse, much, much worse in fact than baroness Burhan. After all, Vanessa had been the family jewel as far as the Kromes had been concerned, one Malcolm must have tricked and conned in order to win her hand; oh how little they knew.
"A little stiff," he replied to Elyna's inquiry regarding his arm. In truth, it was the most painful it had been in days after all of the heavy lifting, with more to look forward to once they reached the little house by the hill. Malcolm took Elyna's bags and carried them down to the wagon, making sure they were secure before he helped her up to her seat. He had purchased a pair of pillow which he made available for her to use if she felt uncomfortable and set a light, folded blanket down across her lap for the road. Even with the heavy cloak on her shoulders, he wanted to make sure she was warm enough while they traveled.
Beyond the south gate and the poverty stricken people of Lowtown, a sense of calm washed over him, as if the smell of the sea carried up on the light breeze had cleansed him of the dirty, dusty feeling he always felt after visiting or staying in the capital. There was something about the countryside that made it all too easy to relax, or perhaps it was just the thought of returning home with Elyna that saw him smile with such ease. "Anything you want, anything you need," he offered without looking at her, "just let me know. I've got a few things for the baby and home, some cabinets for the kitchen, shelves, a nice armchair for you to use in the baby's room, fresh blankets, a new window," the man looked a little guilty. "If you want me hire a servant, I can do that too."

[Elyna]

“I’ve got some bruise salve,” she offered. The injury was yet another fault against her. Kit was foolish and impulsive but he was her responsibility and so were his actions. Misguided as they had been. Elyna was furious with Malcolm but she doubted that she would have shot him on sight. Probably. It was a cold fury and buried deep. Coaxed into surfacing only every so often when provoked or trapped and forced to relive experiences she would rather forget.
There was quiet between them as they traveled. The rattle of the cartwheels on streets and the creak of furniture as it settled into place like a jigsaw puzzle. Children ran alongside the cart as they entered the poorer districts and there was sign of rebuilding everywhere. Fresh timber and sawdust scattered between cobbles. Compacted and set with the rain that had fallen over the last thirty trials. There was a bite to the air that called for Autumn. She felt like an old lady beneath the blankets, propped with pillows and drowned in the warm cloak. At least she was warm, and comfortable. Perhaps more comfortable than she’d been in a long while.
Malcolm spoke and it made her eyes burn. Despite everything that had happened, it was good to have him back. He knew far more than she did about caring for newborn’s. The young woman had never held a child younger than an arc or so old and she was apprehensive. She had known a cradle was needed but peering back at the cart she was reminded once again of how little she knew and how badly she was prepared for the future. Usually organised she hated to be caught off guard, but this was foreign territory and there was no book, on instruction on what to do or what to expect.
A few cautious inquiries to women with children had resulted in sympathy and encouragement and empathy for ailments…and then questions, so many questions. She’d found very little of the advice practical and heart racing had struggled to commit most of the imparted wisdom to memory. There seemed to be a silent understand that she should simply know what they were talking about or referring to. It was a strange thing to be a Noble woman without children or a husband at her age, and she was certain her skills with longbow wouldn’t be much help.
So she watched the Mortalborn from the corner of her eye. Hands folded neatly in her lap beneath the bump. It had reacted, on cue, to his voice which had coaxed a smile from her. He had been here before and his presence was a comfort. Elyna swallowed a little of her pride and reached out, resting her fingers on his forearm. The skin was warm under her palm and she hoped the gesture said what she needed it to. It was difficult to express the depth of gratitude that she felt. Elyna withdrew again and knotted her fingers together.
“Thank you…I think you have everything covered.” It was relief to think he was prepared for what was to come. In some respects, she still trusted him. Even if she was unwilling to trust him with her heart, she valued his judgement.
“I have a friend, who is a slave,” she paused, it sounded strange even to her own ears, “she’s the slave of Tristan,” she wondered if he would remember the Venoran who had attended their wedding, “I trust her. Tristan said he would allow her to stay for a few trials to help.” Not that Faith had any experience with children that Elyna knew of. They would be the blind leading the blind…but she trusted the woman with her life, and that of her baby. That was worth more than anything else.
“I don’t - I wouldn’t want a stranger and I did mean it, I intend to return to the city on the 100th…just in case.” In case the poison had done something awful, or the events of Saun meant the baby was weak or ill.

[Malcolm]

Elyna had touched the man’s arm briefly, the gesture causing him to turn his head a little to take a side-long look at her. The noble woman looked lost under the too-big cloak and blanket, and the sight made him smile. The wind was cold and would do well to dry the land out, but as he drove the wagon it whipped under his hair and caused his shoulders to tighten, raised as if that would somehow keep the wind off.
Parts of the road had been damaged or completely washed out by the flooding that had come with the rain. Each time they came to a bumpy spot in the road, Malcolm would slow down and sometimes even stop the wagon to test the depth of the water before he steered the horses through. They still managed to make good time, but they journey was long as this pace.
“Invite your friend,” he agreed, “she can stay in the baby’s bedroom, I bought an extra bed in case you have guests over in future.” It was subtle, the you instead of we, and Malcolm hoped the woman knew he had used it only out of respect. He knew that he was only here as support now, that he couldn’t be trusted, that they weren’t man and wife. This did not mean the man didn’t still hope these issues could be resolved, but he knew if he refused to acknowledge that there was a problem it would only push her further away.
“The baby will be fine,” he felt his brow tighten. Why would Elyna think otherwise?
As the house came into view, it wasn’t only Malcolm who looked relieved, but the horses too. Red’s ears swivelled forwards and he called to his paddock mate, out of sight but not out of mind. Malcolm steered the animals into the barn and put the brake on before climbing down and setting down blocks behind and in front of the wheels to make sure the wagon wouldn’t roll in the meantime. He helped Elyna down and carried her things to the house, putting them down inside the entrance without stepping foot across the threshold himself.
“Would you mind brewing some tea?” He hated to put her out, but he hadn’t had anything to drink since he had gotten up, and there had been a lot of lifting and travel in between.
Inside the barn, there were stalls to muck out and things to put away. He had brought home a load of new tools that would make jobs around the house easier, and wanted to set up a place for them sooner rather than later. First, however, the baby’s gear needed to be carried over to the house, a cradle, new blankets, and furniture that could be put off to one corner of the living room while he spent the next few days building the new bedroom. Malcolm carried the gear over to the house and left Elyna to sort through it, on hand to move anything she deemed too heavy. There were side-tables for the bedroom, and a dresser for the baby’s things, clothes, blankets, toys, the usual things parents collected as gifts from others when they were expecting.
Once everything was in its place, he sat down at the table for a moment and took a sip of the tepid tea. “Come here,” Malcolm summoned Elyna with a wave to sit beside him in the empty chair. He put the cup of tea down on the table and held his hands out as if he were going to take hers.

[Elyna]

The subtle differences in his words were not unnoticed. Malcolm had accepted that things were different and that above all, they were not okay. Elyna had fought against him but instead of the relief she had expected at the change the woman felt hollow. She found herself watching him once more and the steady movements to guide the horses. Burly hands managing the reins with skill and confidence. The muscles in his arms as they bunched and he navigated the best route, for all of them. Apprehensive that he’d feel her gaze she turned to watch the landscape as it rolled past.
Happy to oblige Elyna crossed to the fireplace. There was no sign of Kit and Rafa and she wondered if a message had been passed on for them to vacate the barn for the foreseeable future. The fire was cleared, rebuilt and lit fresh. She filled the pot with water by carrying mugs back and forth from the tap. Malcolm heaved all the heavy things inside and it was difficult for the young woman not to feel overwhelmed. There was so much stuff, it felt too much. Then she would remind herself that it was his baby too, and the child would need a bed. Somewhere to store its clothes and diapers would be necessary. But there were luxuries too, a comfortable chair to rest on.
As the water hissed and boiled she folded all the clothes neatly and slid them into the dresser she could reach. Only to frown and pull them all out again, stacking them on top. In a few days the dresser would be moved and it would be lighter if she didn’t fill the drawers. Perhaps her brain wasn’t working as well as it usually did. Fetching the tea herbs she found a collection of sewing needles in the cupboard that she didn’t remember putting there but hadn’t been able to find since her departure. Cheeks a little red she wondered how many other things were in strange places around the house. Was she forgetting things, or had she been tired?
The tea was steeped and sweetened with honey, left for Malcolm collect on his eventual return from the barn. Her own mug was empty and held close to her chest for residual warmth. He beckoned her closer and she hesitated. Then the ceramic was set down and she advanced with careful steps. She sank into the suggested seat and lifted a reluctant gaze to piercing green eyes. The baby chose that moment to slid a foot between her ribs and she gasped, hissing in a breath as she flinched.
Elyna stretched out her back and tried to find the offending foot and push it back through. It was a sharp pain but quickly soothed when the foot retreated. “They’d said that he’s going to run out of room soon,” she tried to explain her sudden tension. Shoulders lifted as she tried to encourage it to settle and was forced to stand again, “I…I have to say that I’m looking forward to that.”

[Malcolm]

Malcolm flinched as Elyna gasped and moved uncomfortably on the chair before getting to her feet again. "Hold still," he said, voice gentle and laced with concern. "I'm just going calm him," the man smiled and placed his hands either side of her belly as his eyes fell closed, trying to concentrate. He had to be careful as he wasn't drawing flesh wounds from her, with little to find, but any sign of sickness or stress. It pained him to think that his touch caused Elyna stress, something he could feel the moment he had set his hands down, but as he called on his ability with an ease of familiarity, the woman should feel his hands grow warm against her skin, even through the fabric of her dress, as if nothing divided them.
Pain would steal away from her joints, Elyna's head would clear, and any sign of cold or flu would be removed from her completely, stress levels too would die down, and for a moment, she would feel as light as a feather, as if the weight of the child wasn't there. A sudden bolt of pain caused Malcolm's lips to part, and draw a sharp breath in. He lifted his hands half an inch from her and realised his brow had furrowed. There had been a strange pull on his powers that he had never experienced before, and Malcolm was Elyna had nothing to do with it, but perhaps the child.
"Here," he was speaking to the baby, but Elyna might not know that. "Take as much of my strength as you want," he smiled, having held his hands down again to reverse the effects of his ability, sending only health and strength though his heated limbs.
The exchange left Malcolm dizzy momentarily, something he hid rather well as he sat back in his chair, let one hand fall in his lap, and with the other, reached for the table blindly. He kept his eyes closed as his body adjusted to the assault on its senses and already tired muscles. His heart rate had slowed considerably, almost to the point where it felt painful and laboured. After catching his breath, the mortalborn took a swig of tea from the cup and leaned forward, to get up.
Tired knees complained, something Elyna must have been suffering from and a muscle or bone in his back clicked. Malcolm stretched and felt an unfamiliar tightness in his chest that saw him grit his teeth and close a hand over the area where his displeased muscle thumped as if it had to work harder than it usually did. He finished his tea and washed the cup out before leaving it beside the sink. "He's..." Malcolm didn't know if he wanted to say anything and scare Elyna with the thought that the baby might have been sapping strength from her all of this time, babies did that after all, technically. "He's going to be strong, I can feel it," the man turned his head, not quite to look at her but enough that she would see the smile on his face.
I'll start building tomorrow," he warned then, planning to rise with the sun and make the most of the dry weather while it was here.

[Elyna]

There was something about the way he gave orders that always caught her off-guard. Angry enough to deny him it was as though she first had to scale a mental block in her mind that said: Captain Krome, obey orders. It lasted for less than a half heart beat and she was then able to move on from the hesitation. Able to remember that within these walls he wasn’t her superior officer. He was a man who had been her lover. They would never be equals though. Despite her relative youth, Elyna felt ancient with all the usual aches and pains that pregnancy was prone to bringing. It was in the moment of hesitation that his hands we laid on her and he was lost to concentration.
Warmth spread through her body like a sweet syrup before she could protest. She recognised the sensation instantly. Painfully aware of the touch of his fingertips splayed across the velvet, Elyna shut her eyes. Afraid of what he’d find with his ability she focused on the birdsong outside. Sparrows replaced with robins with crows circling, scaring off seagulls. She absolutely wouldn’t think of Burhan, or Krome. She wouldn’t think about how the gentle wash of warmth made her heart feel too tight, in a way that his ability was unable to fix or alter. Weightless and freed of pain the woman seemed to bow forward, as though she’d fall asleep on her feet.
His gasp was enough to startle her from peace and she blinked, looking across at the man. She frowned as he spoke, unable to make sense of the words. Unable to react to his ability she was forced to remain passive. In many ways his actions were a violation. The gift used upon her without permission. It did wonderful things and she was aware, that once he was finished the pain that returned for the next few trials would be lessened because it was no longer compounded. Hands pressed against her again and this time she sank back into the chair. It was truly a beautiful gift that he possessed. What had he told her? That the pain would mar him tenfold…that he would be weakened. That his eyes might turn red or his nose bleed. Would he be vulnerable to illness and the mild cold she’d felt tickling the back of her throat.
He struggled to stand with aching joints that she knew too well. When she had been poisoned he had offered to take her pain. She watched the stumbling movements and heard the distinct click of a muscle or bone. His back would be hurting down most of the spine. She wondered how his arm was once more, and the scar across his middle, the scar over his ear and ribs…the death blow along his collar bone.
Elyna found her feet with more ease than she had in days and approached the man. “You have such amazing abilities, Malcolm.” She stood across the counter from him, hands balanced on the edge. Fingertips pressed light against the smooth surface of polished wood.
“I’m glad to hear our baby will be strong, and relieved…” with the benefit of her renewed strength and body that was temporarily alleviated of muscular aches and tired bones she was able to move quickly. If it landed, the slap would land a stinging blow across the man’s cheek bone.
“If you use your ability on me again, without permission, I’ll never let you close enough to touch me,” she warned. Face drained of colour she stared at him. If he’d believed her eyes were cold in the dark then she was afraid they were icy as she watched him. “You risk your life, you risk your immortality for scratches and scrapes and bruises. I am grateful, and I thank you,” she forced herself to say the words and her gratitude was sincere. But he had acted without consent for the second time. The first time, she believed he had caused her pregnancy, and this time? Was he truly aware of his ability and the impact they might have? Last time he could have died and only circumstance had saved him.
Tears burnt the back of her eyes but she held steady, “he might be strong like you, but I hope he’s not stupid.”

[Malcolm]

The impact of Elyna's hand thrown against the man's face saw his head turn, eyes cast down at the countertop. His cheek burned and lit up as if he had blushed, but only on one side of his face. Of course Elyna was right, he had extended his gift without her consent, and while he knew it wrong, the pain in his chest saw that he was not sorry, and would not apologise for his actions.
Tired hands reached for his empty cup and he filled it from the tap, water fed through the lines from the small tank he had set up to catch rainwater from the roof. He knew it should be boiled first but was too thirty to wait, and drank from the cup before putting it down against the counter with a light thump. His lips had gone dry and he felt a familiar strain tighten the muscles behind his eyes before he noticed the single drop of blood in the sink. Strange, he thought, he had done the same thing for Vanessa twice and never bled as a result. A shallow pain ran through his chest and as he closed his shirt in his hand he noticed the front of it was wet with blood.
Alarm registered on his face for a split second only to disappear behind the veil of his top as he pulled off the shirt and held it bunched to his nose, pressing to slow the bleeding. Trying to make light of the situation, Malcolm made his way to the door and paused to tease Elyna about her beating him up and that he would need to report her to her betters if she wasn't careful. "I'll see you in the morning, or you'll see me," he pointed to the blank wall near the bathroom where he planned to install a door for the new room.
Malcolm stepped out into the crips air and realised how much warmer it was inside the house than out. He went to the barn and had to site down, breathless all of the sudden. Something had been wrong with Elyna or the child and he had taken that burden, but his body was fighting back, trying to attack what it felt invaded by. He waited until he had managed to catch his breath and hunted through his bag with one hand, searching for something warmer to wear. Elyna may have been displeased with him for acting without her permission, but something told him he had done the right thing, that for him was justification enough.

[Aeon]

Malcolm

Knowledge:

Caelan Burhan: Doesn't want you in her house. Ever.
Elyna: Friends with Tristan's slave
Elyna: Doesn't want you using your abilities on her without her consent
Elyna: Slapped you! but is grateful for your actions.
Elyna: Thinks you're stupid?
Mount: Slow down when hitting rough ground
Mount: Horses get tired more easily when pulling a wagon
Construction: Easier in dry weather
Your baby: One tough baby
Medicine: Stopping a bleeding nose

Loot:

Thank you for deducting the cost from your ledger.

Injuries:

Strained muscles for the next trial or so.

Fame:

+2 Buying the supplies for the baby's room for Elyna (give a gift), +1 Carrying those heavy objects in for Elyna (general good deed), +1 For helping Elyna with her pain (general good deed)

Magic:

These points can NOT be used for Domain Magic

Story:

5/5

Collaboration:

5/5

Structure:

5/5

Elyna

Knowledge:

Caelan: Still Burhan and is proud of it
Malcolm: Knows more than you about caring for newborns
Malcolm: Willing to risk his immortality for you
Malcolm: Strong but stupid?
Babies don't come when they're due!
Brewing: Making tea
Endurance: Taking a kick to the ribs..from the inside
Your Baby: One tough baby
Unarmed Combat: Slap!

Loot:

N/A

Injuries:

N/A

Fame:

+1 For making Malcolm some tea (general good deed), -1 For slapping Malcolm (general bad deed)

Magic:

These points can NOT be used for Domain Magic

Story:

5/5

Collaboration:

5/5

Structure:

5/5

Comment:

Really enjoyed the thread in every way, you guys make reading about romance so beautiful, I just hope they get back together! Love how you show the pregnancy affecting Elyna, with the sudden mood swings and everything, all in all, the writing is just brilliant..did not see the slap coming though, props to you! Malcolm is just out of this world with the cool, and not letting anything affect him. It's really just like your other threads, two very good writers pairing up two very good characters in such a confusing and yet amazing relationship.

There were some, but rare, minor typos that didn't affect the reading enough to deduct a point, nor affected the overall impression, but I'd be mindful of that. A really awesome friend of mine recommended this advice, try reading your posts out loud with a wacky scottish pirate voice, and editing will become a whole new story!

Please remember to add the Reviewed tag to your post in the Review Request Thread!