[Telka] The Quiet Moments Between

[Elisabeth Black]

39 Ymiden, Arc 721

The evening had gone quickly, and the couple began to make their way back to the room they had changed in previous to the feast. Elisabeth hadn’t broached the subject of staying overnight with Balthazar, but the young mage was hoping he would be receptive to the idea. Considering what had occurred, more than anything, she just wanted a trial with him. No Element work or settlement matters. Just them.

Of course, with herself and the man she loved, it was never that simple. Even if things weren’t right in front of them, they both were the type that continued mulling topics, situations and information over and over. They understood that about each other and accepted it, but still…she had hope.

Oddly enough, away from the Ballroom, it never seemed like anyone else was around, yet if one needed something, someone was always around. She let her mind stew on that for a moment before she allowed her fingers to intertwine with Balthazar's, squeezing his hand gently. “So, stay or go? I’d prefer to stay, but if you must get back, I understand. I appreciate you coming with me tonight.”

Behind them, sauntered the now exhausted Sir Storm of Haven, having eaten his fill of fish bites, chicken and whatever else those kind fuzzy servants at the Feast had seen fit to feed him. In fact, he was walking a bit sideways down the hallway, but a very happy kitten all-in-all.

Finding the opulent room they had been assigned, Elisabeth opened the door and walked inside, once again struck at the beauty and comfort of what was before her. The giant bathtub. The beautiful balcony under Saoire’s stars. The giant bed with linen that look something like a cloud. Setting down her things gently on the table, the raven-haired young woman kicked her slender heels off and padded barefoot out to the balcony, desiring a closer look at the stars.

It had been a madcap trial, filled with just about every emotion one could feel, and yet, Elisabeth wondered what Balthazar thought of it all. It hadn’t been a normal trial in the least for either of them, and arguably, he was in the position of being most affected. It was all new information to him; she had already lived it. And died. And lived again. Forgotten, and then remembered. It was all very timey wimey, to be sure, and the energy coursing through her made her tired, and energized, all at the same time.

[Balthazar Black]

39 Ymiden 721

Balthazar never felt right lingering at parties after they were over. The invitation to stay had been extended but there was work to do still. There were cases to get back to and people for Elisabeth to help at the settlement and yet Balthazar found himself walking back to the room that Saoire had kindly provided them at the end of the night. He did it because Elisabeth had asked him to and while that was a dangerous power to put in her hands, he did not regret the decision.

Upon entering the room that had been prepared for them, Elisabeth seemed to get comfortable much faster than Balthazar. He stepped in, looked around, and thought of every room he'd slept in for the last hundred nights. He didn't think past the last hundred because within that hundred he had recalled enough to safely sat he had not slept anywhere as luxurious. He set his stuff down on the table beside Elisabeth's and then sat on the bed. One by one his boots hit the ground. With each resounding thud, he found himself staring at them and thinking about the time when he hadn't worn shoes at all. He was more comfortable walking barefoot through the street as a defier than he was when he wore boots. However he had not had that connection for a long while.

A few moments later, prompted by Fuego appearing at his feet and gesturing out to Elisabeth, Balthazar stood and went to join her on the balcony. "See anything new?"

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 39 Ymiden

Smiling at the sound of his voice, Elisabeth turned, giving him a soft laugh as she gently began pulling small pins out of her hair, letting the dark curls fall loosely against her shoulders and back. “We are in Saoire’s realm,” she started softly. Turning, her eyes cast up, gazing once again at the sky. “I’ve spent a good portion of my life watching stars. Some of them are old friends. But here, I feel like there would always be something new to see.”

Quite moments between the two were rare. Thus, when they were allowed them, Elisabeth treasured the experience. She wanted to know what was going through Balthazar’s mind, but experience had taught her that it was far better to allow him to voice them when he was ready. Large amongst the lessons and wisdom Elisabeth had discovered in loving him, was that having patience revealed a person’s understanding that there were some things in life that had to unfold in their own time.

That, however, didn’t mean she was going to waste the time with him. Since earlier that season, time with Balthazar had been fleeting. Echo scrolls could only take place of so much. Yes, they could converse when they wished, but the presence of the man she loved was irreplaceable.

With that in mind, the young mage turned to him and gently slipped her hand over top of his. The moment reminded her of another similar scene that felt like a previous lifetime. Letting a soft smile slip against her lips, she moved closer to him. “This reminds me of another balcony we visited. The view was equally impressive…”

It wouldn’t take him long to know what she was speaking of. The snow-filled landscape of Viden had been the backdrop of that moment. Balthazar knew what that quiet moment on the balcony at Viden Academy had meant to her, so she declined to bring it up again. It was enough to call his attention to it and let his mind go where it would.

“We should go back to Viden sometrial. There’s so much there I didn’t get the chance to share with you. And we have that puzzle to sort out too.” They had scoured the Prime Atheneum, looking for a clue to something Balthazar had overheard as rumor. The pair had found what they were looking for, but time had run out to see the puzzle through to conclusion. It was like an itch she couldn’t scratch – a unsolved mystery. She had a few of those that needed attention.

Rubbing her fingers over the top of his hand, Elisabeth waited, letting his mind catch up.

[Balthazar Black]

39 Ymiden 721

Balthazar was a contrary little devil. Elisabeth told him that the view from the balcony in Viden was equally as impressive as the view from Saoire's realm and he couldn't help but disagree. He didn't voice it, but he had different feelings about Viden than Elisabeth. As it stood, she was the best thing to come out of the frozen waste. She'd grown up there and the sights Viden had to offer had come to mean more to her than they would ever mean to him, just like the bloodwater pools of Bastard's Grove and the various fractures around Yaralon would always strike him more than her. Still, as he stood there with her he knew he could recall it in more detail than Elisabeth. He remembered everything his eyes had seen and processed from the moment he stepped into the library to the moment they found the balcony.

If he ever went back he would even be able to remember which books were on the rows, and the order that they were in, as the two of them had poured through every book they could find on the tundra. Perfect memory was a gift and a burden. He also could never forget how gladly his help had been accepted with the ghost issue and how quickly those in Viden turned against him after the fact. If he went back, he'd have to pay a visit to garrison to get some answers from the people he'd been with on the hunt. He remember their names and faces as well. He remembered everything he'd learned about them.

Elisabeth had suggested that they go back to Viden and she used the lingering mystery as the bait but for the first time in a long while it didn't seem like Balthazar was all that curious. Riddles scribbled in books could lead to treasure or death and Balthazar had everything he thought he needed for the moment. What treasure in Viden could be worth death? Yaralon maybe. Rharne, maybe... but Viden? Well... maybe. All the same Balthazar didn't respond to anything until Elisabeth began rubbing his hand.

"One trial, maybe." Balthazar said in a quiet voice. He didn't want to crush her dreams but he had been made far to aware of the reality of things. They couldn't just get up and go. Every trial they were in Scalvoris they seemed to become more entrenched. Elisabeth had more and more to do with the settlement and Balthazar was finding no shortage of criminal activity across the islands. More cases to work meant more reasons to stay but the lack of a proper mount didn't help either. There would be no quick trip. Not with the Untold shutting out the dreamwalkers. "I'm not sure there is much left in Viden that interests me. I've taken all the best parts of it with me."

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 39 Ymiden

Balthazar was a contrary creature, but as luck would have it, Elisabeth understood that about him and loved him all the same. In fact, she understood far more than most people realized, but chose to keep her own council on some matters.

Their relationship was one built on a lot of things, love being foremost. Trust was a close second. He was always honest with what he said, even though she knew sometimes he kept himself from saying things because he was concerned about her reaction. Elisabeth felt that she had shown him, over time, that there wasn't much she couldn't deal with. Then again, they had been tested to the extreme, and certain things were still sensitive. They were mindful of each other, and she appreciated that about him.

She knew the depths of his memory and thoughts, and treasured the beautiful mind he had. He was always thinking and processing, which often left him short on words. That's where she came in, providing enough for both of them. Rare was the night that neither seemed overly talkative, content to just be in the same space with each other. There was a bit of wisdom in that, knowing that words weren't always needed. It didn't feel awkward or odd, just being with Balthazar.

Telka was something else. Truly. It was one of the most amazing things Elisabeth had ever seen. In her estimation, only one thing topped it, and she had said as much. It hadn't been the view from the balcony in Viden that had captured her attention though. It had been the person on the balcony itself - Balthazar.

Earlier that evening, Elisabeth had told Balthazar that 'no matter the outfit, no matter the room, you are the only one I’m looking at.' It had been true that evening, and even truer in Viden, on the balcony. The balcony had been something of a wish for her, to share with the Yari. Telling Balthazar about the balcony during drinks one night in Rharne, she had made it her mission to make sure the wish came true, and it had.

Beyond the balcony, more wishes had come true and while the life that had come from it wasn't what she had thought it would be, Elisabeth wouldn't have traded it for anything - warts, arrests, hurdles and all. She was where she wanted to be - with him.

He offered her a kindness, or so she thought, stating that perhaps one trial they would return. Squeezing his hand gently, she gave him a smile, nodding her head. His follow-up comment, however, made her reassess him again. As soon as he said the words, she understood how he felt about Viden. Elisabeth knew about what had happened there prior to them knowing each other. In fact, due to the trial and Balthazar's own stories, she knew a great deal about his adventures.

It wasn't lost on her exactly what he said. The inference was there, causing a soft blush to form. Only he could cause that intimate reaction, and she allowed herself to feel it because to do so felt good. He didn't often express things of that nature, so when he did, Elisabeth allowed herself to be in the moment with him and enjoy.

Her mind cast back to the evening's events, and everything that took place. Moving closer to him, Elisabeth picked up his hand and gently nestled it between both of hers, looking up at him, speaking in hushed tones. "Is there anything about what you found out totrial that you wanted to ask me about? I may not have all the answers, but I can try." She may not have wished to discuss matters with other people yet, but Balthazar was not 'other people'.

He was the one she wanted to share everything with.

[Balthazar Black]

39 Ymiden 721

You could probably hear a pin drop in the room when Elisabeth asked if there was anything about what he'd learned that night that he had questions about. He took a deep breath and looked out towards Saoire's Realm from the balcony before looking inside for a moment. He took another deep breath and looked back out at Telka. He had more questions than they had time to talk that night, knowing how long winded Elisabeth's answers and explanations could get. She'd already told him the events she remembered, some of which had not been shown in the vial, but the rest had been and it provided an odd look at everything that had happened. Everyone made decisions that were criticized. If one person thought another was doing something wrong, it was almost guaranteed that the other person thought their accuser was in the wrong.

Yet there were decisions and actions which seemed objectively wrong. Balthazar could unfortunately never forget, but he could forgive Woe's first attempt at sacrificing Elisabeth. If the trade had been made, all the chaos and trouble might have ended then and there. It was the second attempt which Balthazar found harder to forgive. After Praetorum's somewhat reckless use of his hone runes, Woe wanted Elisabeth thrown off the transport back because he was concerned about what she might have been bringing with her. Immortals had struck the Albarech down with a storm breaks prior and Woe was worried about what, little monsters from Emea? In some regards, that was fair as well... but not to Balthazar. He recognized his bias and he tried to step outside his own shoes but it was too fresh. He did not want to talk about that. He did not want to pass judgement on someone who had been a good friend to him during the war in Quacia and after. He wanted to understand but he would not find understanding by talking to Elisabeth.

Then there were the larger things like the Induks and the Forging itself but Balthazar found himself uninterested in that as well. He heard plenty about it, seen it in the vial, and spoke with enough of the Immortals to get a detailed sense of what had happened. He had no questions for her that he didn't think he could not answer himself with a little more thought about everything he knew now.

So, unwilling to ask about the man who tried to kill her, the ithecal who nearly killed her, and the grand forging itself, Balthazar was left with only one pressing question on his mind.

"Have you decided what you are going to do about Jacien's offer?"

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 39 Ymiden

He was quiet. For Balthazar, that was not an uncommon thing, and the man she loved often cloaked himself in silence while communing with his thoughts. Elisabeth understood it had been an overwhelming trial and wished to give him space to think and find a measure of peace.

Her process was a bit different, although perhaps not as much as she thought now that she thought about it. When she had learned of Balthazar's death, it had been traumatic. There were nights where the images wouldn't leave her mind and bothered her more than her demise. He was often away, and while Elisabeth knew he could take care of himself, she always worried about not getting to him in time if he needed help. The echo scrolls and ring helped alleviate some of the concern, but a certain amount always remained, tickling the back of her mind.

Gazing gently at him, she smiled, watching him consider the question asked, almost able to see the cogs turning. It might have seemed a simple question on the surface, but they both knew that it had layers, and currently, he was working his way through those.

When he finally spoke, it wasn't the question she had anticipated, but it was a good one, prompting her to gaze thoughtfully at him. "No. Not yet, and it was…unexpected."

Unexpected was an understatement. No one saw what occurred between the two in the mausoleum, for the vials hadn't included that memory. He had saved her, then chewed her out, followed by being friendly, more chewing out, and finally the offer, which came once they arrived at the Glass Temple. At least, she thought that was the order of things. Her memory was a bit fuzzy, but she was sure there were episodes of criticism, kindness, and a job offer.

Glancing at Balthazar, she brought her focus back to the question at hand. Taking a deep breath, she let her eyes wander across Telka, hoping for a bit of inspiration. "He saved me. I don't know why, Balthazar, but he saved me. He didn't have to. I was not vital to the outcome of the events. There is another Death Forged." It was a difficult pill to swallow, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized that for all the accolades, she was still the girl that got herself killed for being stupid.

"I don't know. I…he didn't tell me." Her hand hit the railing in frustration. A world of things she didn't know, likely never would, and it was a bit annoying to her to realize that. Being a creature of knowledge and information, to be without it was beyond exasperating.

Squeezing the balcony's railing with both hands, the young woman gently leaned over it, settling her arms there, sighing. "For everything, Jacien is or has been, he brought me back and offered me a job. I don't know why, but I feel I should listen to what he has to say. I'm not sure how I could be useful to the Elements, but perhaps I should find out?"

Turning her eyes back to him, she spoke gently, uncertainty lacing her words. "What do you think? More importantly, though, how do you feel about that?" Balthazar's opinion held the most weight with the young woman, and as such, she wanted to know how he felt about the offer. While they were both strong individuals who knew when decisions were required individually or collectively, Elisabeth was on shaky, uncertain ground. She needed the opinion of the person she trusted above all others.

[Balthazar Black]

39 Ymiden 721

Balthazar's eyes drifted out at Telka as Elisabeth told him again about what Jacien had done for her. He did not speak. His breathing slowed and grew a little deeper. He looked up at the stars and listened while Elisabeth spoke. He listened, he bit his tongue, and he listened. She spoke about how Jacien had saved her as if Balthazar would not have done the same for someone in a similar situation. He did not think that Jacien had done what he did purely for Elisabeth. When you had the ability to save a life and you willingly chose not to, that death was on your hands. Balthazar thought Jacien had saved Elisabeth out of duty more than anything else. Perhaps his interest in her was a part of it, but at the core he felt it had to have come from a place of duty. He couldn't have known her well enough otherwise.

Elisabeth said that she wasn't vital to the events that transpired because there was another Death Forged. She felt like she was replaceable and Balthazar shook his head when she said it but he didn't interrupt her. Regardless of whether or not she was vital, as far as Balthazar knew Jacien did not have precognitive abilities. The decision to save her would have been made with the knowledge he had at the time. The decision to do so in a mausoleum gave him privacy that he wouldn't have had otherwise. If not for Elisabeth, Balthazar wouldn't have known what happened there. Elisabeth insisted she did not understand why he'd done it and that she felt like she should listen to what he had to say. She wanted to know how she could be useful to the Elements. It was that notion which seemed to stir Balthazar the most.

When she asked what he thought about it, Elisabeth got her answer quickly. "I think you should refuse the job." He said it plainly and clearly. He didn't explain it at first. He just let his words sit before turning his gaze from the Telka stars to the woman beside him squeezing the railing with white-knuckles. "I have remained with the Elements despite everything that has happened because at the end of the trial, I need the badge to do what I do best. You don't. You're a better leader for Haven than I was. Focus on them. Let me handle the criminals hiding across the islands. You've seen what happens when we split our focus too much. You're a good leader, be one."

[Elisabeth Black]

Arc 721, 39 Ymiden

Balthazar gave her time and space to speak, and it was one of the things she loved most about him. He never pushed for an answer, allowing her to find a way through her thoughts and speak when she was ready to.

The answer she gave wasn't a simple one, or at least not to her. Several things were pulling at her, wanting her to see the situation from the unique perspective of whatever area of her life they originated. Haven. Scalvoris. Forged. Even Balthazar. She had responsibilities to each that she couldn't ignore. Every task she took on would take time away from something else. Still, mostly that was about juggling priorities – she could do that – but ever-present was the 'point of no return,' where she would begin to let people down by not being able to give herself entirely.

The question she asked him had been quickly answered, and while she wasn't surprised at the answer, how he had arrived at it was, once he explained it. He wanted her to focus on leading Haven, which she could understand, but there were other considerations that he may not have thought of.

The young mage nodded, sighing a bit as she released the railing, bringing her hands together to set upon it. The fingers of her right hand gently fiddled with the silver ring on the left as her mind crawled its way through a few points she wanted to make. They agreed that split focus caused issues, but there were ways to mitigate that if one wished it.

It took a moment before she felt ready to speak, but it was apparent how much thought Elisabeth had put into the words she said when she did. "I know I have a duty and responsibility to Haven. It's been, and will continue to be, an honor for me to help the settlers and see Haven thrive."

It was tricky, putting into words what she was feeling. It wasn't lost on her that the very thing she was about to bring up was something they had discussed a time or two regarding Balthazar himself.

"That night in Rharne in the tavern? You said that everywhere you went, people needed help. Part of me feels like there's more I could be doing for Scalvoris as a whole, in conjunction with being a settlement leader. I just don't know what." The desire to help people was strong in the young mage, and Balthazar, more than anyone, would know that.

Then, the heart of the matter. "Balthazar, I was made settlement leader because I was the best option at the time for what they needed. I could have refused, but I decided not to and made the most of the responsibility given because I care about the people." Sighing softly, she let her eyes reach out to the sky again.

"I want to choose something for myself. Something I feel I could be good at and contribute. I don't think being an Element is it, but I don't know that unless I talk to Jacien. There are other options out there. People don't need to be just one thing, and I don't want to be just one thing."

She moved closer to him and gently reached out her hand, sliding it over his, squeezing softly. "I know what my priorities are. I know who my priorities are. I have not, and never will, waiver in that knowledge. I just would like the chance to explore if there are other opportunities for me to help, in some small way, outside of Haven."

A grin slipped free as she nudged his side softly with her's, voice lowering to a whisper. "Besides, there was this one time I remember, this amazing man asked me to stay with him, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. So see? Evidence that I can make good choices."

[Balthazar Black]

39 Ymiden 721

A quiet Elisabeth was a dangerous thing because more often than not it meant she had gears turning in her mind that eventually would turn into many, many words. A quiet Elisabeth after Balthazar voiced an opinion he did not think she would share was even worse. He understood that she was thinking but because she'd gone silent with little indication further than that, he expected she was thinking of counterarguments. If she wanted to argue against the opinion she had asked him for, then from his perspective her mind was already made up.

Elisabeth opened her response by saying that she recognized that she had a responsibility to Haven and the people. Balthazar found that he felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff waiting for her to inevitably say 'but' and then whatever it was she really felt. She paused and Balthazar could almost see smoke coming from her ears- not literally of course. She spoke of what he had said in Rharne which he felt was a poor example given how his journey around Idalos had ended. He was in Rharne when he should not have been. He met her when he should not have, because he was where he should not have been. He helped stop the Flameborn because he was where he should not have been. Maybe it wasn't so bad to be in the wrong place?

Putting aside that thought, he considered what she'd intended to point out. She felt like there was more she could be doing for Scalvoris as a whole but didn't know what and Balthazar wondered why she felt that way. Elisabeth seemed to have assigned Scalvoris more importance in her mind than some of the people Balthazar knew who'd been living there for their whole lives. She spoke of how she'd taken the role that was offered to her because she cared about the people and Balthazar, once again, found himself asking a question he wouldn't have an arc ago. Why? What did she owe to them? What had they done for her?

She said she wanted to choose something for herself. She wanted something she could be good at and contribute. She spoke of other options but named none other than becoming an Element. When she reached out and her hand slipped over his, for the first time in a while, his hand slipped out from under hers and he took a step back. He knew how she longed for physical contact but this was no conversation to have at such a range. At least not to him. He was not going to let the more positive emotions connected to his love for her distract him from how he felt on the issue.

"You sound like you've already made up your mind." He said with little inflection in his tone to indicate his thoughts. If she had decided, then what he thought and felt about it did not matter and it would do them no good to debate it further. He often remembered nights where he'd argued with Isabella about her extracurricular activities. You could not control the person you cared about. You should not want to. So Balthazar would try to support her as best he could... but he would not split his focus further to accommodate Elisabeth wanting a hobby. "You have never been one thing. Even now, as Haven's leader you are far from one thing. You don't need a badge or a cloak or some fancy order membership to do more. Feeling stuck or as if you can do more and actually being stuck or able to are very different things. Do what you think is best, I've said what I think."