Name: Patrick
Knowledge:
Kar: Enemy
Kar: Broke into your home in Vhalar 716 to search for the black book
Kar: Will kill for the black book
Kar: Murdered Dominek
Kar: Responsible for the infirmary attack during Vhalar 716
Kar: Tried to kill you during Vhalar 716
Kar: Fled Rharne on 112 Vhalar, 716
Lightning Knights: Investigating Kar’s assault and treachery
Dominek: Murdered for getting in Kar’s way
Rei: Skilled in unarmed combat
Rei: Loves you as a friend
Rei: In love with Wendell
Unarmed Combat: How to tackle your opponent
Unarmed Combat: It’s best practice to keep your eyes open when attacking
Unarmed Combat: How to block a dagger attack with your hands
Unarmed Combat: How to head butt your opponent
Discipline: Fight to your last breath
Loot: Please deduct the cost of the bottle of bourbon whiskey (-30gn) from your ledger.
Injuries: Bruises on your stomach, deep cut on your left hand between your middle and ring finger, sprained wrist, cut in your left shoulder, mild concussion, and small cut on the top of your ear. Since you have threads happening after this, I will leave the length of time these injuries stay up to you. They will inevitably heal faster thanks to Rei's help.
Fame: +4 for victory in single combat, +2 for being a witness to Rei’s act of heroism, +2 for solving the mystery of your brother’s murderer
Devotion: N/A
Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 4/5
Knowledge:
Location: Patrick’s Home
Kar: Tried to kill Patrick during Vhalar 716
Kar: Fled Rharne on 112 Vhalar, 716
Kar: Enemy
Lightning Knights: Investigating Kar’s assault and treachery
Patrick: In love with you
Stealth: Keep to the shadows to avoid detection
Stealth: Stick to back alleys and side streets to avoid detection
Unarmed Combat: How to put your opponent into a headlock
Unarmed Combat: When you are weaker than your opponent, use the element of surprise
Medicine: Signs of shock as a result of injury
Logistics: How to prioritize tasks in the order of most to least urgent
Loot: You've received an iron dagger that formerly belonged to Kar! It is in good condition. Please remember to deduct the medical bandages used from your possessions list.
Injuries: Bruises on your back and shoulders from being slammed against the wall.
Fame: +4 for victory in single combat, +1 for protecting Patrick, +1 for healing Patrick’s injuries, +1 for guarding Patrick while he recovers from his injuries
Devotion: N/A
Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 5/5
Patrick, please look for opportunities to use periods instead of commas. There were a number of sentences in your posts that needed a full stop, but a comma was used instead. I’ve mentioned this in previous reviews as well, so I’ve gone ahead and deducted a point for structure. I would encourage you to keep an eye on this in future. If you’re unsure what I’m referring to, shoot me a PM. I’d be happy to give you a some examples.
Rei, when a different character is speaking (for example, in your first post and your last post), please ensure you start a new paragraph for their dialogue. I didn’t deduct any points for this particular thread because I haven’t commented on this for you before, but I would encourage you to make these changes in future threads to avoid losing points in Structure. Also, a quick note about the skill knowledge I awarded: you had a number of unarmed combat and medical knowledges already, so I only awarded what new ones I could find.
Overall, a great end to the first act of the "Kar saga". It's been a pleasure following this storyline, and I look forward to his inevitable attempts at revenge! If you would like a public bounty to be posted for Kar, please shoot me a quick PM and give me the okay. Otherwise, we'll assume that the Lightning Knights are conducting their own internal investigation.
If you feel I've missed anything or if you have questions about your review, please don't hesitate to send me a quick PM. Thanks!
Knowledge:
Kar: Enemy
Kar: Broke into your home in Vhalar 716 to search for the black book
Kar: Will kill for the black book
Kar: Murdered Dominek
Kar: Responsible for the infirmary attack during Vhalar 716
Kar: Tried to kill you during Vhalar 716
Kar: Fled Rharne on 112 Vhalar, 716
Lightning Knights: Investigating Kar’s assault and treachery
Dominek: Murdered for getting in Kar’s way
Rei: Skilled in unarmed combat
Rei: Loves you as a friend
Rei: In love with Wendell
Unarmed Combat: How to tackle your opponent
Unarmed Combat: It’s best practice to keep your eyes open when attacking
Unarmed Combat: How to block a dagger attack with your hands
Unarmed Combat: How to head butt your opponent
Discipline: Fight to your last breath
Loot: Please deduct the cost of the bottle of bourbon whiskey (-30gn) from your ledger.
Injuries: Bruises on your stomach, deep cut on your left hand between your middle and ring finger, sprained wrist, cut in your left shoulder, mild concussion, and small cut on the top of your ear. Since you have threads happening after this, I will leave the length of time these injuries stay up to you. They will inevitably heal faster thanks to Rei's help.
Fame: +4 for victory in single combat, +2 for being a witness to Rei’s act of heroism, +2 for solving the mystery of your brother’s murderer
Devotion: N/A
Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 4/5
- - -
Name: ReiKnowledge:
Location: Patrick’s Home
Kar: Tried to kill Patrick during Vhalar 716
Kar: Fled Rharne on 112 Vhalar, 716
Kar: Enemy
Lightning Knights: Investigating Kar’s assault and treachery
Patrick: In love with you
Stealth: Keep to the shadows to avoid detection
Stealth: Stick to back alleys and side streets to avoid detection
Unarmed Combat: How to put your opponent into a headlock
Unarmed Combat: When you are weaker than your opponent, use the element of surprise
Medicine: Signs of shock as a result of injury
Logistics: How to prioritize tasks in the order of most to least urgent
Loot: You've received an iron dagger that formerly belonged to Kar! It is in good condition. Please remember to deduct the medical bandages used from your possessions list.
Injuries: Bruises on your back and shoulders from being slammed against the wall.
Fame: +4 for victory in single combat, +1 for protecting Patrick, +1 for healing Patrick’s injuries, +1 for guarding Patrick while he recovers from his injuries
Devotion: N/A
Story: 5/5
Collaboration: 5/5
Structure: 5/5
- - -
Comments: Awesome thread, you two! So much excitement with Kar. You had me on the edge of my seat! I really enjoyed Patrick's attempts to protect himself, as well as Rei's well-timed rescue. I also appreciated that both characters struggled and did not immediately succeed in their goal of escaping Kar. This is realistic to both Kar's skillset as a Lightning Knight and your own characters' skill levels. Nicely done!Patrick, please look for opportunities to use periods instead of commas. There were a number of sentences in your posts that needed a full stop, but a comma was used instead. I’ve mentioned this in previous reviews as well, so I’ve gone ahead and deducted a point for structure. I would encourage you to keep an eye on this in future. If you’re unsure what I’m referring to, shoot me a PM. I’d be happy to give you a some examples.
Rei, when a different character is speaking (for example, in your first post and your last post), please ensure you start a new paragraph for their dialogue. I didn’t deduct any points for this particular thread because I haven’t commented on this for you before, but I would encourage you to make these changes in future threads to avoid losing points in Structure. Also, a quick note about the skill knowledge I awarded: you had a number of unarmed combat and medical knowledges already, so I only awarded what new ones I could find.
Overall, a great end to the first act of the "Kar saga". It's been a pleasure following this storyline, and I look forward to his inevitable attempts at revenge! If you would like a public bounty to be posted for Kar, please shoot me a quick PM and give me the okay. Otherwise, we'll assume that the Lightning Knights are conducting their own internal investigation.
If you feel I've missed anything or if you have questions about your review, please don't hesitate to send me a quick PM. Thanks!