34th Ymiden,
717
717
Zana was bored.
This, she considered a good sign and she knew that it meant she was getting better. It had been seven trials now since she'd been attacked by two clients. They'd come close to killing her, she thought and judging by the reaction of the healer they'd had brought in and Theo, her handler, she didn't doubt that assessment. Her eyes were no longer so swollen that they were closed, she could smile and her face was looking more and more like her face each trial. If she could just stop being so damnably afraid, Zana thought, then things would be better.
But bored was not afraid and for that she was pleased.
She'd seen Theo every trial since the 31st, when she'd let him in to her room for the first time since the attack. He was worried about her and Billie both, Zana knew. She'd once teased Theo about Billie being a much nicer person than she was and whilst, at that time, she'd been saying it in jest, the simple truth was that Billie was a much more sensitive soul. Gentle and sweet and somehow naive still, although Immortals only knew how, it made her a firm favorite with many of the clients. However, Billie had never experienced the kind of violence which had been visited on her the night that both she and Zana had been assaulted by clients.
Other than Theo, though, she hadn't seen anyone and she still hadn't gone outside the door of her room. So, when the tap came at the door, without the accompanying call from Theo, Zana remained quiet. What if it was Peter? Or Fred? Come to that, she thought, what if..
“Zana? It’s Billie,” before she’d finished speaking Zana’s name, the mortalborn had opened the door, with a smile. “Can I come in?” Billie asked and Zana just stepped out and hugged her. The girl looked so afraid, she thought. So young and vulnerable and afraid. Billie hugged her back and a gulping sob escaped the red haired young woman who clung to Zana.
”Of course you can come in, you don’t need to ask,” she said, and led her in. Zana ushered Billie to sit on the chair and she pulled a low stool over, perching on that and taking the young woman’s hands.
“You look awful,” Billie said and Zana smiled.
”I look better than I did.”
“They didn’t hurt me as badly as they hurt you, the other girls said. Robyn said they were worried that you might die.” That was reassuring, Zana thought with a smile. She couldn’t say she was overly surprised though, she’d seen the look on Theo’s face both at the time and then when she’d let him into her room three full trials later. Still, might have been was not helpful here, so she turned her attention back to Billie.
”Well, I didn’t,” although it had been a good reminder of her mortality, that was for certain. ”I lived, and so did you.” Tears were pouring down Billie’s face and Zana was aware that the young woman’s hands were trembling. ”Theo’s spoken to Peter, as far as I can tell he’s been really firm with him.” Zana smiled encouragingly to Billie. ”He’s not pushing you, is he? No one’s putting any pressure on you?”
Billie shook her head but looked unutterably miserable. “Theo’s lovely. He’s been so kind and there’s no pressure or anything. But if I can’t work, he’ll have to let me go and I don’t know where to go. But I’m scared.”
”Theo won’t let you go.” Zana was growing more and more sure of that by the trial. As a handler, she couldn’t fault Theo’s methods or ethics, in fairness to him. ”And neither will I. If it comes to it, we’ll rent somewhere to live together you and I, alright?” Billie looked at Zana with genuine surprise in her expression.
“You’d do that for me?”
”No. I’d do it for me,” Zana explained with a smile. ”I can’t boil water. If I don’t have someone with me who can cook, I’m going to starve.” Billie laughed and descended into sobbing at the same time. Zana wrapped her in a hug and just let her cry
As Billie calmed down, after about a quarter break, Zana gently put a piece of the young woman’s hair behind her ears and then lifted her chin. ”I’m going to do some painting. Do you want to? They say it’s good for calming and relaxing.” Billie nodded her head and Zana leaned forward and kissed her gently, lingering for a few trill as Billie kissed her back. That was good, Zana thought. It was progress. ”Is that the first time you’ve let someone kiss you since the attack?” Zana asked and Billie nodded, looking miserable and as though she expected some sort of judgement. Zana smiled and stood up, holding her hand out. ”Well, lets not tell Theo. He might get jealous. Come on, “ she looked encouragingly at the young girl who took Zana’s hand and stood. ”Let’s go paint beautiful things?”
This, she considered a good sign and she knew that it meant she was getting better. It had been seven trials now since she'd been attacked by two clients. They'd come close to killing her, she thought and judging by the reaction of the healer they'd had brought in and Theo, her handler, she didn't doubt that assessment. Her eyes were no longer so swollen that they were closed, she could smile and her face was looking more and more like her face each trial. If she could just stop being so damnably afraid, Zana thought, then things would be better.
But bored was not afraid and for that she was pleased.
She'd seen Theo every trial since the 31st, when she'd let him in to her room for the first time since the attack. He was worried about her and Billie both, Zana knew. She'd once teased Theo about Billie being a much nicer person than she was and whilst, at that time, she'd been saying it in jest, the simple truth was that Billie was a much more sensitive soul. Gentle and sweet and somehow naive still, although Immortals only knew how, it made her a firm favorite with many of the clients. However, Billie had never experienced the kind of violence which had been visited on her the night that both she and Zana had been assaulted by clients.
Other than Theo, though, she hadn't seen anyone and she still hadn't gone outside the door of her room. So, when the tap came at the door, without the accompanying call from Theo, Zana remained quiet. What if it was Peter? Or Fred? Come to that, she thought, what if..
“Zana? It’s Billie,” before she’d finished speaking Zana’s name, the mortalborn had opened the door, with a smile. “Can I come in?” Billie asked and Zana just stepped out and hugged her. The girl looked so afraid, she thought. So young and vulnerable and afraid. Billie hugged her back and a gulping sob escaped the red haired young woman who clung to Zana.
”Of course you can come in, you don’t need to ask,” she said, and led her in. Zana ushered Billie to sit on the chair and she pulled a low stool over, perching on that and taking the young woman’s hands.
“You look awful,” Billie said and Zana smiled.
”I look better than I did.”
“They didn’t hurt me as badly as they hurt you, the other girls said. Robyn said they were worried that you might die.” That was reassuring, Zana thought with a smile. She couldn’t say she was overly surprised though, she’d seen the look on Theo’s face both at the time and then when she’d let him into her room three full trials later. Still, might have been was not helpful here, so she turned her attention back to Billie.
”Well, I didn’t,” although it had been a good reminder of her mortality, that was for certain. ”I lived, and so did you.” Tears were pouring down Billie’s face and Zana was aware that the young woman’s hands were trembling. ”Theo’s spoken to Peter, as far as I can tell he’s been really firm with him.” Zana smiled encouragingly to Billie. ”He’s not pushing you, is he? No one’s putting any pressure on you?”
Billie shook her head but looked unutterably miserable. “Theo’s lovely. He’s been so kind and there’s no pressure or anything. But if I can’t work, he’ll have to let me go and I don’t know where to go. But I’m scared.”
”Theo won’t let you go.” Zana was growing more and more sure of that by the trial. As a handler, she couldn’t fault Theo’s methods or ethics, in fairness to him. ”And neither will I. If it comes to it, we’ll rent somewhere to live together you and I, alright?” Billie looked at Zana with genuine surprise in her expression.
“You’d do that for me?”
”No. I’d do it for me,” Zana explained with a smile. ”I can’t boil water. If I don’t have someone with me who can cook, I’m going to starve.” Billie laughed and descended into sobbing at the same time. Zana wrapped her in a hug and just let her cry
As Billie calmed down, after about a quarter break, Zana gently put a piece of the young woman’s hair behind her ears and then lifted her chin. ”I’m going to do some painting. Do you want to? They say it’s good for calming and relaxing.” Billie nodded her head and Zana leaned forward and kissed her gently, lingering for a few trill as Billie kissed her back. That was good, Zana thought. It was progress. ”Is that the first time you’ve let someone kiss you since the attack?” Zana asked and Billie nodded, looking miserable and as though she expected some sort of judgement. Zana smiled and stood up, holding her hand out. ”Well, lets not tell Theo. He might get jealous. Come on, “ she looked encouragingly at the young girl who took Zana’s hand and stood. ”Let’s go paint beautiful things?”
I was unshakeable in what I did believe.
I feel so breakable. Have I been deceived?
I feel so breakable. Have I been deceived?
