• Closed • Celebrate

[Nightshade Eld]

The half-breed nodded quietly in response to Noth's comment, hints of crimson starting to cover her cheeks. The fact he'd noticed her less than cool demeanor was mortifying in a way she couldn't really explain. It was one of those things that didn't really make sense to get overly embarrassed over, and yet the sinking sensation of having made a fool of herself weighed heavily at the pit of her stomach. She did her best to brush off the sensation and continue on with their date, which so far was panning out to be rather pleasant! Despite all the chaos and turmoil spinning around her head. So, she did the only thing she could really do to make herself calm down and forget about all the nasty stuff that came with her situation. She told logic and reason to fek off. She could pretend there was no tomorrow and she was going to die before the night was up. At the very least she could be assured of the fact she wouldn't have to deal with any fights. She was at the very least safe in the hands of Noth. So, for just one night, she could hopefully stand to forget everything else. She couldn't completely push away the more grounded half of herself unfortunately, a quiet nagging still ringing at the back of her mind. Ugh. She'd do anything to shut that little voice up.

When the innkeeper turned to Nightshade for her own order the half-breed was given a moment of pause before eventually ordering some roasted meat with a side of local fruits. And just a glass of water. She was feeling rather thirsty. She hadn't been able to eat or drink anything all morning because she was too nervous, the thought of approaching Noth for this outing had completely squashed whatever desire for food she had. Which was already a small one to note. Food had lost its flavor a long time ago, and now she simply ate to survive. It took conscious effort to just keep her weight at an appropriate level, especially considering just how much she had to eat given her daily physical activity. At least the fact she didn't really care made it easier to eat whatever she had to in order to survive. The taste was meaningless which meant she didn't have to put much effort into preparing her meals. When it came to her choice of drink, well, she hadn't drank anything but water since a couple seasons ago when Noth convinced her out of her more... dangerous birthtrial celebration tradition. Which was good, since it meant the tradition itself didn't last long enough to do any kind of true damage and her nature as a lightweight meant she only ever ingested very little to begin with.

She had no intention of ever purposefully drinking again if she could at all help it. While it might be helpful to learn how to handle her liquor in case the need for the ability ever arose, she was perfectly happy just never touching the stuff again.

As the innkeeper shuffled away she turned back to Noth, ready to start some kind of conversation. Up until a very elderly couple walked in. They were hand in hand, slow moving but seemed happy to be in each other's company all the longer. "How cute," she commented in a small voice with a tiny smile. However, there was something sad about it as her hands folded over each other and she fiddled with her ring finger. She could never have that. She wasn't allowed that kind of happy. Her romantic relationships started and ended with Noth. No matter how their relationship ended panning out, her relationships as a whole ended with him. She knew that. She was resigned to that. But it didn't help to ease the bitter taste in her mouth as she watched the elderly couple and yearned for that kind of happy. She quickly got rid of the wistful look that was starting to emerge on her face and put her attention fully back onto Noth. She was here in this moment. With this man. And while she could lie to herself and steal away some kind of happy, she knew that she'd never get rid of the bitter pangs which made her stomach paralyzed with the conflicted thoughts that her brain could never seem to stop churning out. She could never get rid of the slight sting in her eyes whenever she felt his resting on her. She belonged to him, that was an unchanging and unavoidable truth. And Immortals, how it destroyed her. She felt like she was burning away in his presence down to nothing more than cinders and ash, and she loved every moment just as much as she hated it.

"Hey. I love you so much it almost hurts," she said before her mind has given her mouth the okay to say the words. Her cheeks turned a very dark shade of red as soon as the words had managed to leave her body. She couldn't even say the words were a lie. She couldn't even say she regretted letting them form and leave her. She couldn't even say she wouldn't spit them out all over again. And the little nagging voice that tore away at her insides was completely forgotten even if the pain wasn't. She ignored that voice and convinced herself that the pain was simply longing. With all of her strength she tricked herself and said that this was normal. This was how a relationship was supposed to be. This was okay, and by all the Immortals to ever draw breath she loved this man too much for either of their own good.

"Common"

"Ith'ession"

[Noth]

Noth

Feathered Fiend

The twilight hybrid spent a great deal of time observing the condition of others. It was not out of any sort of sentiment or kindness towards them, nor any genuine desire to acquaint himself with the internal conflicts and issues that a person might have throughout the average trial, or in the case of his prisoners, throughout rather extreme circumstances. Rather, it was due to the fact that a person sent out a great deal of non-verbal signals to the world about their state of mind, and their assorted thoughts on varying matters. For example, a constant glancing motion towards the available windows of the tavern coupled with a brief mutter about their lack of openness was enough for the Avriel to discern that his beloved was uncomfortable with the cramped nature of the structure. In the same way, the constant glances to and fro and instrument of torturous activity, the shaking whimpering noises as it drew closer, were all but indicative of a fear. Of course, he never counted the screams when the process had begun… anyone would scream if faced with the atrocities that they faced in the depths of his cavernous home, and he didn’t doubt for an instant that facing the same circumstances, he too would let loose a blood-curdling cry.

The innkeeper seemed content to serve the pair of Avriel within his establishment, and it was only a mere moment before he had scampered off happily to prepare the order for pair. He wondered whether or not she enjoyed fruits to a greater degree than he had in the past, and questioned for the first time in a long while the differing biological and psychological traits exhibited in himself and other deviant halfbreeds. In truth, Noth was capable of consuming fruits and grains for a while, though if he kept at it for too long without a meatier dish, it was liable to make him feel somewhat sick to his stomach, as though his Avriel blood required the consumption of flesh in order to be sated. He imagined that it was probably at least somewhat difficult to maintain a strict diet for the lady bird, especially given that she was simultaneously constantly active, and also in need of a weight restriction so that she would be able to attain flight. He was… perhaps thankful that he was capable of eating whatever he desired, though he didn’t fool himself into thinking he wouldn’t trade it away if it were possible.

The sudden presence of an elderly couple seemed to draw Nightshade’s attention, and he briefly cast a glance towards them, curious as to why she was so affixed with their presence. Were they known to her? Perhaps officials of some sort within the bureaucratic mess that made up Etzos’ government? It seemed wholly possible that such elderly sorts would have attained at least some measure of respect and power solely due to their ancient age, and even the Avriel felt a kind of respect for them. They had managed to survive a great deal of ordeals, no doubt, and had managed to procure for themselves a happy and satisfying relationship in the process. When he had conquered the world and turned it over into a paradise of peace, he hoped that he would be able to see something similar spread throughout the mortal family, through each and all of them… peace in their time.

Still, even long after the hybrid had finished his own analysis of the pair, Nightshade seemed transfixed upon them, perhaps her own thoughts running at their appearance. It was somewhat strange to consider until she finally blurted out her affection for him, stating that it was nearly painful to endure. Noth blinked several times, remaining completely silent as he stared directly towards her, his own heart fluttering ever so slightly within his feathered chest. He was so unused to admissions of affection directed towards him… especially ones that weren’t entirely political in their function, and a pained sensation flickered throughout his very being. He would need to subjugate the world, to bring it under his heel, and he would need to kill, and torture, and maim… and she would despise it every trill, she would hate all that he would become.

“I love you so much that it does.” He replied after what felt like an eternity of absence, but which was probably only a bit in reality. With a sudden tremor of motion, he pressed his fingers against her hand, clamping down on it firmly, suddenly needing to keep her within his grasp, as though she might flutter away if he did not claim her.

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[Nightshade Eld]

She could feel her stomach turn uneasily at the idea of food. As her thoughts meandered through the existence and need to consume food she slowly became iller and iller at the thought. In reality, the half-breed could eat pretty much whatever she pleased. She had a rather quick metabolism, which was actually more of a problem for her, and had the ability to eat things that weren't meat without much issue. In addition, she'd been blessedly given the ability to consume raw meat without as much danger to her bodily functions as a human might have had. She wasn't sure if that was actually biological or something she'd grown accustomed to since her father no matter how much he adapted to acting like a human could never stomach cooked meats, like most avriel. It was likely a combination of both. However, eating just meat or raw meats for too long of a period was usually something that caused her illness and lethargy. While she could survive on nothing more than jerky for trials at a time, it slowly became more and more unbearable no matter the variety of the meat itself. Fruits were one of the very few things that didn't actually repulse her even with her terrible eating habits. Even when her stomach hurt so badly with anxiety she was about to double over, she could always manage to force down some kind of fruit. In addition teas and vegetable broths usually settled her stomach when she got like that, but meat broths or straight up meat could easily make her wretch. Which is why she'd made sure to order the fruit. Because she knew if she didn't have some reward to fight towards at the end she was not going to be able to get down her dinner.

When Noth spoke an admission of adoration for his own and grabbed for her hand she wasn't one to complain. She clung to it as though it were a lifeline and she was drowning. And yet, his grip at the very same time sent fire racing through her being tearing apart everything she was. And it hurt. Because no matter how many horrible things Noth did, no matter how much she hatted the actions themselves, she'd never find it in her heart to hate the man sitting across the table from her. And perhaps, that was the most painful if not the scariest part about it all. How no matter how much in her heart of hearts she tried she couldn't summon up any emotions of hate towards the man who quite literally defied everything she stood for, every fraction of her being. And perhaps the most shameful thing of all was how he grabbed onto her left hand. Her dominant hand, her sword hand, the hand she used to slay and defend, the hand that marked her as a shieldbearer of Ethelynda. And that? That almost broke her. That was what made questions and tears burn and slash at the back of her eyes as she was made acutely aware of just how desperately she needed this depraved monstrosity of a creature who had her heart on such a pathetic leash that she couldn't even find an ounce of strength to resent him with. And while she could have let the words die in her throat this time, fully aware of their presence slowly bubbling up within her, she let the question tumble out of her mouth. "Do you think one day we'll get married like them? We'll live happily ever after?" She asked him in a voice that shivered, fearful of his answer. She wanted him to say yes, she wanted to hear him promise the world and her happiness, and she didn't even care how many lies he had to tell to set her painfully beating heart at ease. She'd swallow them fiercely as though they were the first drop of water she'd found after spending and arc lost in a desert. Starved for touch, starved for love, starved for him, she wanted to drink up each and every one of his deliciously sweet lie filled promises and covet them as though they were precious jewels and not simply gilded lead.

Time seemed almost to pass quicker in the presence of her beloved, her very soul clinging to his existence as a whole. It terrified her so very much. But she embraced it, just like the ravenous fool that she was. Quick flashes of protest and encouragement seemed to flash before her eyes but she ignored it all, almost seeming to savor the painful starvation of only having him touch her hand when she wished she could fling her arms around him and grapple to him like a lost child that fiercely hung onto the only person willing to show them the way.

And just like that, the spell was broken as plates of food began to be set down on the table. She had to repress a momentary sigh as she looked at the plates of food. Oh Serpents, she felt even worse now. She didn't send wishes and hopes to just Ethelynda, but all of her children as well in a silent prayer she'd be able to keep this food down. She was even tempted to pray to Qylios for the courage to set out on this endeavor. She eyes the fruits which did look appealing and she wondered if Noth would notice if she only took small bites of the steak and mostly dined on the fruits and water provided. She eventually, reluctantly, let go of Noth's hand when it became apparent they would have to start eating and though the dread didn't readily show on any of her features it hung heavy in the pit of her stomach. She tried to appear hungry, tearing into the meat with the utensils provided and cutting off an admittedly small piece.

The moment the food touched her lips though, she realized exactly how much of a challenge this was going to be. It was hard to even so much chew as the flavor, which was pleasurable, seemed to assault her in a way that she couldn't describe. Her stomach twisted uncomfortably as her throat made it quite clear there was no way it was going to swallow this. She forced it to anyways. She wanted to take a moment to recover after the first bite, but of course, that would look weird to Noth. Hopefully, he hadn't noticed her silent struggle already. Giving up on the meat at least, for the time being, she plucked a piece of fruit off of her dish and popped it into her mouth. Her body was quite ready to yield and accept the offering as the gentle but sweet flavors washed over her tongue, natural and soft when compared to the sensory assult of the meat which had been charred and seasons to a high level of skill. She couldn't help but think that unseasoned meat that was half-raw would have been much easier to tolerate. But she tried to play it off as easily as possible as she glanced up at Noth and smiled, promping continuation of conversation. Any conversation. Any reason not to eat.

"Common"

"Ith'ession"

[Noth]

Whilst his fellow hybrid struggled with the very notion of edible items, the twilight Avriel eagerly awaited the arrival of his own meal. He was nowhere near any sort of malnutrition by any means, and had managed to maintain at least a reasonable diet throughout his stay in the midst of the woods thanks to his own abilities at foraging, and later an insistence that his soldiers retrieve any sort of edible plunder which could be attained from their many raids. Nevertheless, to say that he had survived upon any manner of gourmet meal would be an extreme hyperbole. The meals that he consumed were often poorly-cooked, occasionally to the point where they would cause minor bouts of food sickness, and it wasn’t unusual for him to need to re-heat his food simply to ensure that his Talons had not completely botched the cooking. The avian warlord was certainly no one’s chef, but at the very least he was aware from his time in the cave that meat was supposed to be universally brownish when consumed, not covered in red and leaking blood.

The pressure exhibited from his hand was not unrequited, and briefly the sensation of her own hand pressing in upon his own reached his mind. She seemed to clutch at it with surprising conviction, as though he might suddenly thrust it away from her, as if though she didn’t own every piece of him that she desired. It was an unfortunate reality of their circumstances that they were diametrically opposed in terms of morality. Of course, that would be the simplistic outlook; in the end, they both wanted the same peace and happiness to spread across the world, but the fact of the matter was that the hybrid felt it was necessary to slay and slaughter to achieve his goals, and Nightshade was convinced that such actions were inherently evil, and that they could never lead to anything good. It made their relationship tense at times, especially when it became apparent that the monstrous side of the avian warlord had never quite dissipated as had been hoped, and the judicial and self-righteous side of Nightshade had yet to fade in any of its grandeur.

The Avriel ran his thumb gently across the flesh of her hand, feeling it, tracing an outline across her fingers wherever possible, measuring each piece of it while it remained within his grasp. Her attention seemed firmly planted upon something else within the room, however, and a moment later, her words came bursting forth, forcing him to pause in his ministrations. A briefly uncomfortable eye raised at the suddenly severe question before lowering back into its normal position, an unconscious movement of surprise of such a forward question. He remained quiet for a few moments, crimson eyes shifting around the room until they landed on the aforementioned elderly couple, and then he returned his attention to Nightshade. Did he genuinely think that they would ever be able to accomplish something like that? No. He didn’t truly expect to survive nearly long enough to allow for such an event, though, he was neither born yester-trial nor a fool, and so he simply allowed a gentle grin to caress his features.

“I think that so long as we’re together, we’ll find happiness. And… I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea.” He nodded briefly at the idea of marriage, his mind suddenly flickering with both the political effects of such an action, as well as the more personalized and romantic feelings that he felt towards his fellow half-blood. With his action granted, his ministration of her hand would continue up until the time came for their meal to be delivered, and then, promptly withdraw with her unspoken permission so that he could go about consuming his meal.

He wasted no time in beginning to devour his meal, slashing into the meaty substances with little regard given to how it likely looked an observer. It was true that he spent a great deal of his time outside of the city within the confines of a cave, surrounded only by scum and unclean sorts, and so it was apparent that he was not, perhaps, the cleanliest or noblest of eaters. That said, he made a genuine effort to eat using his utensils, an effort assisted by the fact that his right hand was comprised of a large metallic gauntlet which could cling noisily against the table whenever he made an attempt to move something over with it. He sighed in mild irritation at the thing, eventually swapping over to his far less precise left hand solely to ensure that their dinner was not absolutely ruined by his inability to quietly consume his meal. Thankfully, it seemed that Nightshade herself was distracted with the intricacies of stuffing food into her mouth, and he took a brief glance upwards towards her, noting her lethargic movements and questioning why she was so… unenthused. Had she ordered the wrong meal, and simply didn’t want to say anything? She was a humorous person, he thought, brave and strong in the midst of martial combat, and yet timid and shy when social situations presented themselves. In contrast, the Avriel could at times be far too brutish and unrestrained in either, though he made careful self-checks to ensure that it would not interfere too heavily with his goals.

With the briefest flick of his gauntleted hand, he summoned the waiter to their table, ignoring any objection given by his beloved until the waiter had arrived. He would promptly lean towards their servant for the evening, and whisper something obscure into his ear, culminating in a gesture of approval from the hybrid as the waiter skulked away. Mere moments later, a secondary plate of fruits would be added to the table, sat within the center so that either of them could retrieve what they desired from it.

He had been careful to request that the fruit be placed between them. He didn’t want her to think that he was belittling her for her… difficulty consuming flesh, but rather, he wanted to supplement that weakness with a potential cure whilst not insulting her. A further movement was made as the hybrid arose from his seat, took hold of the wooden furnishing, and maneuvered it so that it sat almost immediately at her side. With a gentle sigh forced from his lungs by the re-seating, he took his proper place at her side, his single wing outstretching slowly so that it would encompass the back of her chair.

[Nightshade Eld]

Perhaps it was his Avriel half that left him thinking that red meat was such a wise idea. The half-breed was well aware that most Avriel ate their meals raw, and she was one of the lucky (unlucky?) few who was more Avriel when it came to internal organs than her actual mind or physical appearance. Raw meat, as long as it was lacking in dangerous parasites, usually caused very little issue for herself. Though, it was generally a rule of thumb that raw meat is harder to digest and ironically enough gives less energy.

She continued to allow him to study her hand while she nodded along carefully, listening to his words. Her expression seemed distant for a moment. She'd seen the flicker of hesitation before he'd answered. Didn't he know that she could read him better than that by now? Regrettably so even. The pair might not have been a couple for forever, but they'd been companions for an extremely long time. Maybe the woman couldn't read her beloved like a book as some might say, but that didn't mean she couldn't read him. She saw the flickers of hesitation while he judged what to say. She knew which actions were immediate and what words were calculated. It still frustrated her to a degree that even now a lot of his actions around her tended to be calculated. Carefully sidestepped the elephant both of them knew was there. And yet, she found she couldn't address it either as long as he avoided it. She knew he wasn't a good man, and she knew that his words, while they might have held a truthful meaning weren't inherently truthful themselves. There was more to it than he was just saying. And honestly? If she'd been able to curb her personality around him for this long at the very least she could expect a little truth!

"Okay," she said simply and nothing more while she turned her eyes to watch his playing with an inspecting her fingers. The physical contact itself left a small warm pit in the center of her being, each stroke of his own fingers sending little shivers up and down her spine. Yet the pervasive and ever-present ball of anxiety rolled around in her chest and made her heart tighten uncomfortably every time its pace sped up. He'd worn done so much of her well-meaning nature. Made himself into her one weakness. She betrayed herself and everything she stood for as she continued to turn a blind eye to hide doings. She wasn't sure of the details. Yet. But she did know enough. She knew that he wasn't a good person and there was very little chance of redeeming him. At least before he hit his goals. But he'd already come this far. What was the problem with his goals if afterward, the means led to the same end as what she wanted? Part of her knew she was just trying to make herself feel better about his actions, she knew that tyranny did nothing but create war and spite towards the leader. War could never create a peaceful world the same way the screwing everyone a one-mile radius could never make you a virgin. She'd been told that multiple times by Icarus and as crude as the assessment was it was still an honest one. Of course, she still turned a blind eye to Noth. And even then, he pretended like nothing was wrong! They were two sides of a single coin, but they were still two very different sides. So she clung to his words for a couple moments longer and pretended that everything would be okay.

Despite her best struggles and her full understanding that she needed to eat the meat for actual health reasons, she found herself struggling. At least for the moment. It was always odd when this happened. She never had problems eating anything as a child or a younger adult. That phrase actually took her off guard for a split second as she accidentally reminded herself she was turning 25. 25 arcs... She was hopeful that maybe a little later she could hunt down a rabbit that would be easier for her to choke down. Or maybe she'd just stop feeling sick and be able to eat normally again later. She was glad this wasn't an everyday occurrence. But it seemed to be getting worse and worse as of late.

Then she noticed Noth raising his hand for the waiter. A blush rushed her cheeks when a glance at him told her that he'd noticed. She couldn't even properly form words in response when he leaned over to the waiter. The fact he was whispering gave it away that it wasn't about himself. Hints of scarlet marred her cheeks as her eyes once again flitted down towards her meal. She felt even sicker now.

When the waiter returned he placed a larger plate of food between the two birds and her eyes once again trailed to Noth after looking at the plate. The likes of which was quickly moving his own form. Quickly he was closer to her side, his single wing wrapping around the back of the chair. Without thinking she leaned her head against his shoulder, pressing her face into the crook of his neck for a moment. "Sorry," she muttered quietly. Despite Noth's best attempt, she found herself at least slightly embarrassed and blushing far too heavily for her face to be seen. Between the proximity and the actions of Noth and her own seeming difficulties, she had little in the ways of calming herself. She wanted to explain that this wasn't necessarily normal, but then again he should probably know that since they've eaten together before, partaking of things they'd hunted together. It happened so long ago, right after their first real fight and right before they became an official couple. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"Common"

"Ith'ession"