• PM To Join • Be Still and Listen

[Toscun'ahesesi]

Ashan 36, Arc 716

Tose was very, very bored. Her father had strictly forbidden her from hunting again until her wound had a chance to heal. She was of course an adult, and could simply go without his permission, but she knew that he was correct, and as well as being her father, he was also a senior hunter. It would be foolish to flout his instructions for the sake of defiance or because she did not know what to do with herself.

First she'd given her gear as much of a going over as she could, but even some of that was made difficult. Then she'd groomed Nika until the mare practically gleamed in the sun. Of course upon being turned loose she promptly went and found a patch of dust to roll in, which had elicited a laugh from Tose. Now she was out of tasks and did not know what to do with herself. It wasn't even noon yet. Most of her acquaintances would be working at whatever there path called them to do. Sev'ryn were by and large an industrious people. Certainly helped along by the fact that they allowed each other to do whatever it was they enjoyed most.

Tose brightened suddenly, a smile flashing across her face. Of course! She would go see her Grandmother! Even if Istin'idur was imparting a lesson on some youngling, Tose could at least sit in. Though often cranky, her grandmother had a way with words, and she knew much about many things. She trotted, carefully after jolting her side, across Desnind to her grandmothers home. Climbing the ramp, she called out.

"Nana, are you home? It's me, Toscun'ahesesi!"

"Of course it's you girl! I'm blind not deaf! Sound like a herd of wild Gaur. Besides, who else would be so impertinent as to call me Nana?"

"Just me."

Tose responded cheerfully to the rather peeved voice emenating from within. This was the basic level of annoyance Istin'idur operated from every day. She wasn't actually particularly upset with Tose. You learned to judge this sort of thing after dealing with her for any significant amount of time.

"Well get in then, get in, before you find some new way to maim yourself. Run through by one of the Gaur you imitate I hear."

"It's not that bad really. No one even stitched it, just bandaged and told me to stay still and let it heal."

Tose replied as she entered the dwelling. She remembered to duck as she entered. Her grandmothers door was lower than the norm, which fit the old woman well enough, she'd been petite even before age started bending her back. Some of Toses fondest memories were the multitude of times her father had smacked his head on the lintel. Not that she enjoyed him being hurt of course, simply that it was one of the few humorous things Awo'san had ever done in his life, and his apparent inability to remember he had to duck made it all that much funnier.

"Which is why you're out gallivanting around Desnind of course. Bah, you'd think you could have inherited some of your mothers good sense instead of just the bloody mindedness of my fool son!"

"Nana!"

Tose gasped, giggling.

"Anyway, I'm hardly gallivanting around coming to see you."

"Pfah. And why did you need to come see me? I know for a fact your father set your tent up for you and made sure there was a bedroll in his home so you could rest. Come here and let me see."

"I was resting. Mostly. It was terribly boring. I do not like doing nothing. Sss!"

Tose hissed as her grandmother removed the bandage, running wrinkled old hands over the wound and lowering her face to give it a sniff.

"Hm. Well at least I don't smell any infection. Whoever looked at this knew at least a little bit of what they were doing, come, sit, I will rebandage it. And if you learned to be productive when you were sitting and seemingly doing nothing perhaps you would not bore so easily and would heal faster."

"You know I am bad at little detailed things. My stitching is terrible and the last time I tried beading the other beaders told me I was wasting supplies and to just go hunt and bring them something to trade."

"Did I say anything about picking up a needle?"

"No Nana, but what else can I do to be productive while I am sitting?"

"The same thing I made your father do when that boy squirmed like he had worms."

Tose lifted a hand to her mouth to cover her grin at that mental image. Squirming was certainly not a word she associated with Awo'san, nor would anyone who'd had him as an instructor. He could be still as a stone when he wanted.

"Meditate girl! Speak to your familiar, speak to Moseke. More importantly listen to them."

"I don't have my familiar yet Nana."

"Nor will you if you never listen well enough to find it. Just running about all day thinking your own thoughts, all Tose Tose Tose, mind higgeldy-piggeldy and surprised when you don't hear anything but yourself."

"Papa tried to teach me to meditate once.."

"Yes, and I'm sure you set there and thought about every little thing and he relented and let you go hunting instead when he felt you'd been quiet for long enough. Bah. Sit!"

Istin'idur settled down onto one of the thick furs scattered over her floor, sitting lotus style. Palms resting on her knees, the old woman closed her eyes. Tose obediently followed suit. Apparently re-bandaging had been forgotten, but as long as she didn't do anything to aggravate it, it probably couldn't hurt to let the wound breathe a little. That thought brought her full awareness to how the wound felt, and she thought about Sadon and about the Gaur, about what she could have done differently. Her nose itched. This was an uncomfortable way to sit. One of her feet was falling asleep. Suppressing a sigh she tried to think of nothing. Instead she thought about thinking about nothing.

Presently, her internal conflict was interrupted by some rather harsh noises. Was that? Tose cracked an eye open. She was quite certain her grandmother was not meditating. She was in fact fairly sure the old woman was sleeping. And snoring.

With a sigh, Tose raised a hand to scratch her nose.

"Wha- That's hardly meditating girl!"

Say what you liked, Istin'idurs hearing was keen, to have been woken by so little. Tose could have pointed out the hypocrisy in this, but her Grandmother was not the one trying to learn to meditate, she was taking time out of her day to help Tose, it would have been unforgivably rude to do so.

"Sorry Nana."

"Hrm. Well perhaps it is too comfortable here. Go to Mosekes Temple and try there! Perhaps the Mother will speak to you."

"Yes Nana, thank you."

Tose dutifully kissed her grandmother on the cheek before heading out.

[Toscun'ahesesi]

Legs still happy for the movement and the chance to stretch, which had apparently not gotten the memo that the body the belonged to was meant to be on the injured list made their way to Mosekes Temple. It was not a place Tose went often. Not because she did not honour Moseke. She did, more than many Sev'ryn, but because it always felt to her like it was the place of the Cïkäkkẹn. To enter was to intrude. But her Grandmother had sent her and she would go. Besides, it was meant to be a place for all Sev'ryn. She paused before the entry way, tilting her head back to look at the massive tree.

For some Sev'ryn, this was the grandest tree they would ever see. To Tose, it was impressive because of the way it had been sung to grow, to fufill the needs of the Sev'ryn without needing such wastefulness as axes, saws and the like. But she had seen larger trees, ones grown into amazing shapes, ones with basins where water collected, ones with faces that watched, and these had not been shaped by any of her people. These had been shaped by their own will and that of Moseke alone. To her, these were even more miraculous.

She stepped within. The two on guard were relative strangers to her and taking their sacred duty very seriously. Though she looked them in the faces with a smile, prepared to greet them, they avoided eye contact, staring off into the distance at something only they could see. Several Cïkäkkẹn were within, speaking quietly to each other and milling about. A few looked up as she entered, but none greeted or approached her. This was fine, it did not offend her, she was not here to speak to them and in any case what did she know or have to say on Cïkäkkẹn matters?

So she put them out of her mind and approached the statues and the sapling at the heart of the Temple. Once more she lowered herself down into the sitting position her Grandmother had demonstrated and closed her eyes. This was in some ways worse than before. The hard floor was uncomfortable on her posterior, and that brought her attention back to her wound again, plus now she could hear the shifting and chattering of all those present within the Temple. Still she persevered for nearly a break before finally her eyes opened and fixed on the statue of Moseke.

How am I supposed to listen when there are so many other distractions? How am I supposed to think about nothing when I have been taught since I could walk to be aware of everything? How am I supposed to find you here in this place that you did not make?

These were not idle questions. She had identified problems, and now she would try and solve them. Though her thoughts were directed towards Moseke, Tose expected no one but herself to solve her problems. Well. Perhaps she was no spiritual leader, perhaps she was only a simple hunter used to thinking about problems directly, but why was that wrong? Was it not the Sev'ryn way to let people walk their own path. Her eyes studied Mosekes face as she thought about this.

She still did not know how to think of nothing, but it seemed the answer to two of her questions was the same. If there were too many distractions and people here, and this did not to her feel like a place where she could listen to Moseke, then she should just go somewhere peaceful that was of the Mother, no? You didn't hunt fish in a field after all.

With new resolve, Tose rose, leaving the Temple with the same surety she had entered.

[Toscun'ahesesi]

Her father had forbidden her to hunt, and that was fine, but Tose needed to enter the Makubwa Lori. That was where she felt Moseke most, with life all around, allowed to grow and flouish as it would, to strive towards whatever it had been made to strive towards. She was fairly confident that if she remained alert, a walk would do no harm. She was going where she had been before after all, albeit not for Arcs, the hunting there was often bad. Still, the dimly held onto memory was one she'd revisited often enough in the past.

She offered a friendly wave to Kah'kilan were he stood on watch as she entered the Itọju, lit only by the Iyos familiar glow. Sure feet had her through and heading away from Desnind. Something internal was now insisting that this was necessary, It was no longer just a way to pass the time or her humouring her Grandmother. This was what she was meant to be doing and where she was meant to be going. Like a piece of metal being drawn to a magnet, she moved. It would have taken a disaster on someone eases part, a situation in which her help was needed to dissuade her.

Callused feet found their way on barely visible game trails, occasionally breaking new paths herself, though leaving as little trace as possible when she could. It was a fair journey to the spot she was thinking of. Once it had been a secret place she held in her heart, but she'd not thought of it in seasons. She wanted to run, to break into the ground eating lope that felt best, but to do that would make her want to swing her arms and she knew that this would hurt. Already she was bending the rules set out only to look after her, she did not mean to throw them aside entirely. Still, she moved quickly.

It was over two breaks of continuous travel before she found what she was searching for. The thick canopy of the Makubwa Lori broke, for the trees making it changed. Before her lay a copse of trees. The stood straight, their trunks tall and skinny, the bark white and decorated with eyes. There was room enough between them that each stood alone, and one could look through the copse relatively unimpeded, but close enough that they sheltered each other, and unseen below ground their roots intermingled. Their higher branches were covered in small green leaves. When she'd been here last it had been Vhalar, and the leaves had shimmered like gold. It still had the feeling of peace that she remembered, as the wind played with the leaves, setting them to dancing and creating a faint susurration.

She moved to a spot near the centre of the copse and settled herself lotus style again. She kept this up for a few bits before snorting. What did it matter how she sat? This was uncomfortable, plus she did not like that it would slow her and make her vulnerable should the peace her be broken by danger. She shifted so she was kneeling, before settling back to sit on her heels. That was better. Now she was comfortable, and she could move quickly if required.

She closed her eyes for a few moments, focusing on the sounds, before a smile quirked her lips up. Why come all the way here and then not appreciate what was? Her eyes opened and fixed on the leaves. Their dance, the back and forth flipping, the way they rippled, never steal, each moving individually but also contributing to the effect of the whole was very nearly mesmerizing.

I think.. I am ready to listen now.

Awareness was not, she decided, wrong. It was only when she got caught up in her own reactions to it that it handicapped her. But listening and knowing what was going on around her? That was right. That was as it should be. Why would you try to cut yourself off from everything around you? The very idea was alien to what it meant to be Sev'ryn. They were connected, to each other and to the world around them. To the plants and the animals, to the seasons, to the elements. It was true that in some respects you had to stand alone, but every thing that lived depended upon others in one way or another. Why then, when you were listening for your Familiar, or for the Mother herself, would you try to cut yourself off? No, that was more wrong that Temples or anything else. You had to preserve the connection, but take your own ego out of the equation.

And so Tose sat, listening to the wind, and watching the leaves. And though she was still, and seemingly did nothing, in her heart she knew that this was important. This stillness. This connection to what was around her. But even this thought was not fully materialized, because that was a thought about her, and her goals, and she was in the breaks that stretched out before her removed from herself, one only with the copse.

[Nymph]

Rewards

Tose

Skills:

• Animal Husbandry: 1
  Meditation: 3
  Detection: 3

Broad Knowledge:

• Meditation: How to Clear the Mind
  Location: Moseke’s Temple
  Meditation: Listening vs. “Listening”

Specific Knowledge:

• Istin’idur: A Normally Grumpy Woman
  Makubwa Lori: Tose’s Place to Meditate
  Meditation: Crouched Position
  Meditation: Lotus Position