Ne'haer Marriage and Divorce
Contents
Introduction
Marriage is something taken to the highest degree in Ne'haer, given that the unity between two people is something that should be considered with the utmost seriousness, care, and responsibility. The Priests within the All God Temple bless the exchange of vows upon the wedding day, turning simple words into holy text and a sworn oath between the individuals. All marriages conducted in Ne'haer must have a Priest or Priestess from the All God Temple present as a witness to the exchange and blessing of vows. Inquiries should be made at the temple and payment for services should be given before the wedding day. Arranged marriages are also common between families in Ne'haer.
Divorce is not permitted among citizens of Ne'haer. Separation is common between individuals who outgrow each other, though they may never be wed to another, by Ne'haer's Law. Only in extreme cases will the Council allow a trial by combat between parties for the right of the married individual. This judgement is rarely given, as it means the intervention of politics into religious matters. If one is truly worth fighting for, a trial will be made to determine the reasoning behind another wishing to claim a married person. If the claim is reason enough, trial by combat will be initiated between parties. This fight will normally be scheduled the day after the verdict is reached. The one who falls unconscious first or dies loses.
Marriage Customs
Customs
- An engaged individual, or 'claimed' person, may sometimes where a ring to show their coming unity, but it is common practice that a torc be given both upon proposal and at the wedding. The torc should be worn by both individuals at all times.
- It is customary that both parties join at the All God Temple to discuss and finalize wedding preparations with a chosen Priest.
- From the time of proposal till the wedding, a preparation of body and mind should be taken. It is common practice that the bride/groom visits the Temple at least three times a week for meditation and a cleansing bath. This time is to help the bride/groom prepare themselves for marriage. *Counseling from a Priest or Priestess may be given, if needed.
- The groom and his family throw a customary party for invited guests only. This party is normally thrown a week before the wedding. The bride is dressed by family members and given to the groom only if they deem his efforts worthy. Therefore, the entire party is meant to appease the bride's family members for approval. This may be done with any kind of entertainment, be it music, dance, battle practice, and more.
Superstitions
- If a bird enters the temple where the wedding is happening, it is a symbol of bad luck
- The colour blue must never be worn.
- Diamonds and Rubies are considered bad luck ~ for every diamond worn, the bride will cry a tear, for every ruby, the groom will bleed a drop of blood.
- The bride must never walk on the left of the groom during the ceremony.
- Eating on the fasting day will curse your marriage.
Gifts
Gifts are given on announcement of engagement. These are usually small and of limited financial value, but always symbolic. They traditionally accompany these with a short note, explaining the meaning behind the gift. Wedding gifts are whatever deemed appropriate by the guests, although it is perfectly reasonable for the couple to ask for specific types of gifts / not to be given other types in the sending out of invitations.
Traditional Ne'haer Wedding
Preparations
Day 5
- Five trials before the wedding, each family should offer a bountiful feast, valuable items, and prayers to the Immortals within the All God Temple. This feast is also shared among each other. *Celebration, dance, music, and entertainment may be had.
- The couple is then separated from each other for wedding preparations. They are kept in separate sections of the temple as it is a rule they are not allowed to view the other until they are pure of mind and body when they meet again. Family members may also stay with the couple during the preparations. If there is no family to help, Priests and/or Priestesses will be provided.
Day 4
- On the fourth day of preparations, the bride and groom are awoken early and led to separate gardens for physical exercise. Combative training is taken up and it is expected that the two participate to the full extent of the exercise. This is the first process of cleansing the mind and body, by ridding it of any anger, hatred, fear, and worry.
- After the exercise, a small break is taken where they bathe and dress in simple robes before meeting with a high priest/ess for vow discussion. This lasts for however long it is needed before the individual is left alone with their thoughts.
- The ‘Hktah’ is served, a kind a meal composed of healing and cleansing plants and herbs along with a liquid concoctions that is both blessed to help with prosperity and fertility as well as mean to rid any further stress, ailments, and worries from the mind and body.
Day 3
- On the third day of preparations, the bride and groom are bathed in large, blessed pools built deep within the temple. These pools are blessed with holy water and soaked in sacred flowers and herbs that purify the skin. The waters are pleasantly warmed and give off a gentle, relaxing aroma. Much time is spent in the bath and once finished, the bride or groom is escorted back to a room where both family members and/or priest/ess take care to anoint nearly every part of the engaged in sacred oils.
- For the groom, body hair is trimmed completely, another part of the ceremonial cleansing process. *This also includes the hair atop their head. Fingernails and toes are trimmed as well.
- For the bride, body hair is completely removed from the neck down. This also includes trimming of the hair atop their head. Fingernails and toes are trimmed and painted.
- After the oils have dried upon the skin, so starts the painting process. Using a special kind of ink, symbols, art, and designs are drawn onto the skin. This is normally done across the entire body and so, takes an enormous amount of time to complete. Once done, the paint take a total of 10 trials to wash off.
- The ‘Hktah’ is served, a kind a meal composed of healing and cleansing plants and herbs along with a liquid concoctions that is both blessed to help with prosperity and fertility as well as mean to rid any further stress, ailments, and worries from the mind and body.
Day 2
- If wedding robes are not given by family members, they are provided during this time by the Priests/esses at the temple. Ceremonial robes are brought in so the bride and groom may try on their outfits for the first time. It is at this point that the outfit is tailored to the body type of the individual, jewelry is applied, and any other personal belongings they with to carry down the aisle. Once the outfit has been put together, it is kept within the bride/groom’s room until the wedding day.
- The bride and groom meet for a short time, blindfolded. They are not allowed to touch each other or look upon the other, however, they are allowed to converse.
- The ‘Hktah’ is served, a kind a meal composed of healing and cleansing plants and herbs along with a liquid concoctions that is both blessed to help with prosperity and fertility as well as mean to rid any further stress, ailments, and worries from the mind and body.
Day 1
- On the last day of preparations, vows are finalized, the last touches of wedding outfits are finished, the last bits of jewelry are applied, and the finishing lines of paint are applied and dried.
- A gift is brought from the bride/groom and opened only at the stroke of midnight.
- Fastening is in order on the final day. At no point during the day should the bride or groom eat a single bite of food as this is looked upon poorly.
- On the final day, the bride and groom meet separately with the head priest/ess for private discussion.
Ceremonies
- The ceremony starts at dawn. As the sunrise occurs, they are both blindfolded and let to a wall in the garden of the temple. This “wall” is actually a decorative tall wrought iron fence. Each of the pair brings a small offering to leave to the Immortals, which will be tied to the fence by their accompanying priest/ess. They stand, either side of this “wall” with their backs to each other (blindfolds still on) and they are required to speak one vow, for the future, one fear from their past, and one lesson they have learnt in the days since last they saw their betrothed. They must not touch or see each other, if they did, then the ceremony would be cancelled.
- One hour after dawn, still blindfolded they are taken to separate areas in the Temple and dedications and prayers are made. These will have been discussed with their priest/ess and will be appropriate and personal to the couple. Blindfolds are then removed and they begin to prepare for the trial ahead.
- Wedding ceremonies always take place at noon, when the light in the sky is at it’s brightest.
- The groom walks from the open doors of the Temple to the altar, usually accompanied by both of his parents, or their representative. As he walks up the aisle, he must ceremonially ‘fight off’ a number of attackers. This is to symbolise his determination to protect his family, both his parents and his future children. These ‘attacks’ are entirely ceremonial at this point and consist of one of the guests standing in front of the groom who places a hand onto their shoulder.
- Once the groom has reached the altar, the bride walks up the aisle. She, too, is accompanied by her parents or their representatives. She enters the temple with a basket overflowing with flowers, which she stops and gifts to guests as she travels up the aisle, as a promise for the future, a reassurance that this family will always be patient, kind and supportive. She steps forward to stand next to the groom. On their left hand side stand both mothers, on their right, both fathers.
- The ceremony is individualised to each couple and will have formed a major part of the planning. Words spoken and vows exchanged will be individual and unique, however all weddings must have a blessing and an exchange of either rings or torcs.
After Parties
After the ceremony, the couple leads a walk to the garden where they will share the afternoon with their friends and family. This might be a carriage ride away, but it must always be outdoors and there must be some walking involved to get there.
In this outdoor space, which has traditionally been decorated by the guests the morning of the wedding itself, the couple sit and open gifts from the family and friends, while everyone feasts and parties around them. The couple do not eat but, once they are done, the entire gathering make a traditional toast, to the past, the present, and the future. The couple then share wishes for each of the guest, either spoken or written.
Once this is done, it is time for the couple to enter their life as such. The guests form an escort, lining up to lead them out of the Temple grounds. Their families then escort them back to their house to welcome them as a pair within the home. Or, if they don't have one, they walk three times around the temple grounds, then lead the couple back to the temple where they have a room.
Traditions and Superstitions
- Wherever the bride and groom sleep that night should have three candles in the window. One almost burnt down, one lit, and one that is unused. These represent the past, present, and future for the couple.
- Once they are alone, the couple should pray together for at least a half break.
- The couple should not eat anything until the following morning.
- Neither of the couple should leave the house / room at the temple until the following morning.
- Every member of the wedding party should light a candle in their window that night, as a symbol of good fortune for the couple.
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